Category Archives: Faith

Faith is what spurs us to reach higher, stretch further, dig deeper, and press our natural boundaries in hopes that we can exceed all expectations.

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Begin Again

There’s a message that’s been murmuring in my thoughts and trailing under the point of my pen over the last month and it’s this very simple phrase; Begin Again.

When I fall off the scales in a heaping bowl of ice cream and have no excuse like exercise to fall back on… it’s time to begin again. When I find the days flying by with fleeting to-do’s yet little that remains lasting… it’s time to begin again. When I dedicate the better half of a month to achieving a goal and wake up on day 30 to realize I fell off the bandwagon a quarter of the way through… it’s time to begin again. When anxiety consumes my mind with worry and shame sets in for the hurts I’ve caused… it’s time to begin again!

The other night God woke me in a dream. I had been in a room with glass along one wall and there was a door that led to a patio, which overlooked the world. I was in the room looking for something. I don’t know specifically what I was searching for but I had a sense it wasn’t good and that I’d been doing this for awhile… years maybe. While in this room looking under a bed, God said to me, ‘how long?’ I asked Him, ‘what do you mean?’ He said, ‘how long have you been holding on?’

I realized in that moment I had spent years searching, proving, trying to figure out the past, the mistakes, the regrets, instead of opening the glass door into something new, with a view, of the world. Just through the door were opportunities I had been passing by because I was choosing to stay inside, searching for the ‘pain’, which I’m sure over time had become comfortable and a part of me.

After months of troubling prayers for deliverance, God was showing me the door has always been there. It’s time to get up off my knees, stop the search party and the incessant prayers, and actually walk through the grace He’s already provided and just… begin again.

God, oh my gracious God, you are always good to us. Forgive me Father, for feeling like you’ve been holding back good things and a way out. I feel very elementary in my faith when I reflect on your Word and wonder ‘how in the world did I miss the door?’ Help me to trust you God, as I walk by the light of Your Word. Open my eyes and ears Lord, that I may be reminded of your provision in my past each time I look for you in the future. You are remarkable. Incredible. Awesome in all that You are. I am so blessed to know you as my Father. Thank you God.

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A New Life

This week my heart has been heavy and burdened with unbearable pain for my sister and brother-in-law as they grieve the loss of their baby. I don’t know how parents endure such anguish; I have been so distraught for words. This tragedy falling on the same week we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus; God’s only son. The crushing uncanny sorrow and grief numbed my heart to feel anything at all.IMG_3286

This morning I brought my burdens with me to the sanctuary and with arms stretched wide, I found sweet surrender in worship of our Saviour King. Freedom found me and overwhelmed this soul. My heart basking in the warmth of His light as it shined brightly on my face and flooded everything in me. The pure, all-consuming love of Christ laid all the agony to rest.

Though the storms stirred dust on the surface, every hope within me has been resting in the peace of God’s Spirit that’s remained standing securely in the depths of my soul. Though it seemed so much had changed, my God stayed the same! No wind or wave can ever waver the goodness and grace, the hope and joy, and the absolute sovereignty of my God. I stand amazed at the peace surpassing all understanding, dwelling deep inside.

He alone is good, and because of that, this beaten down heart has been delivered from the burdens of sin and the heartaches in this world.

Jesus, oh my Jesus! You alone are good. Enduring my pain on the cross, raised to life from the dead, you have conquered the grave and claimed victory as my valiant King, so that I may have a new life, free from the burdens of our fallen world. The gift you have given is beyond anything I could ever return; this sacrifice is unspeakable when I think upon your ways. Your unfailing love is unfathomable and yet, I’m asking for more to flood my heart, my mind, my ways… craft in me a new thing that honors You, my King. May this world experience the joy of your work in every breath I exhale, every word that’s delivered, with every beat of my heart, in every step that I take… to you be the glory, Jesus, forever and ever. Amen.

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What Fasting Is Really For

I have a confession to make. I don’t always write my blog posts in the same day or week. Once in a while I will sit behind the keys and pen out several posts at a time, as the Spirit flows through my fingers. And thank God for that because other times, I’ll stare at my screen wondering why a single thought doesn’t come to mind. Tonight, this is my second writing.

The last couple of years I’ve been working on regular fasting. During these prayer times, I began to notice thoughts about God effortlessly pouring out into my journal and blogs. It’s as if God’s thoughts became my thoughts and I transformed into a well seasoned writer, authored by the Spirit transcribing insights from the Heavens. Yet, when I wasn’t fasting, I seemed plagued with ‘writer’s block’. Writing on demand is different; convictions cause content to spill out into stories that move other people.

This all caused me to question the closeness of my relationship with God when I wasn’t fasting. My desire was to hear His ‘still, small voice’ all the time. So I thought if I could fast every Sunday, this would surely clear the queue of distractions and help draw my heart in a little closer. It became very stressful and sadly, I wasn’t retaining any depth from this one day.

I was having lunch with a girlfriend yesterday and mentioned my unfruitful efforts to fast, so that I could hear God’s whispers. I told her I had finally given up my frequent fasts because I felt they were becoming too forced and that perhaps my heart may have been trying to control God’s voice in my life. In this situation, stopping seemed like the best thing for me.

This morning God led me to Isaiah 58. I’m going to paraphrase: The Israelites were being pious, coming into the Temple every day, acting delighted to learn all about God. They pretended to want to be near God by saying ‘We have fasted before you! Why aren’t you impressed? We have been very hard on ourselves, and you don’t even notice it!’

Here’s what God said: “I will tell you why! It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves… You humble yourselves by going through the motions…  Do you really think this will please the Lord? This is the kind of fasting I want: Free those wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, remove the chains that bind people, share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.”

I-Yi-Yi! Yes, that spoke to me alright! The conviction cut like a double edged sword! I’ve been making this fast about me and my writing instead of allowing the freedom of the Spirit to flow in His timing. Instead of moving in my love for God by loving others, I had been more concerned about His work in me. Whew! Let me just tell you, I have been rolling this chapter over in my mind for several days since then.

I’m very thankful that God doesn’t give up on us, even when we’ve got it all wrong. He continues to feed us His word and draw us back to the heart of worship. What an amazing God, what a faithful Father. I am in awe at His goodness and generous grace that He lavishes upon a heart, even when it leans away from His desires. He lovingly calls out in His Word, pointing us in the direction we’ve been searching for all along. Thank you Lord.

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His Results Through Me Exceed My Expectations For Me

It’s late in the day and I’m determined to get one more mile in before the sun goes down. My muscles are a bit weak from medicines I’ve been taking, particularly my hips are throbbing with pain. I’m pretty sure they hate me as I strive for 10,000 steps a day; that’s what I was told is the minimum we should reach daily to stay healthy. I sit behind a desk most of the day, so I have to be very diligent about reaching this.

As I step up to the treadmill, I enter in a 9:30 pace/mile and pant for the first half before my body finds comfort in it’s stride. I’m nearing a mile and I hear His voice, ‘you can do it Trisha. One more mile. Faster this time.’ I’m not denying that I could do a little more, so I settle on running another half, increasing my pace to 8:57/mile. But He pushes me past my own boundary and says, ‘8:30’. I’m a bit taken aback, ‘Woh! That’s a minute off my time!’ But my hand reaches out to bump up the speed, believing and reciting ‘as long as you strengthen me, I know we can do this.’

The first half flew by and a thought came to mind, His results through me exceed my expectations for me. I didn’t set out to surpass any goals today; I had already hit my 10,000 steps after that first mile. It is quite often God squeezes more from me than I set out to accomplish; He presses my heart to greater heights than I think I can go. And it all strengthens my faith and trust that through Him anything is possible… anything! This has made me think about the goals I have for my life. I’ve heard it said before that if our goals don’t require God to show up in order for them to come to fruition, then we’re thinking too small.

We serve a loving Father who longs to be a part of our lives, a part of our story. Really, He longs to be the story, in and through us. Our minds underestimate the power of an Almighty God, who’s living and breathing Spirit is what strengthens every fiber carefully crafted and sown within us to do the impossible. I should have started out with a stronger goal in mind when I got to the gym earlier tonight. I should have set out to hit 8:30 for that mile. But thank God for His still, small voice that never leaves, and nudges when we’ve set our own expectations too low. Thank God His Spirit is there encouraging us that we were made for more!

Oh, my Lord, you are so faithful to continue speaking these truths in my life, never letting me settle for less than your best. I hear you on the sidelines cheering me on, saying ‘you can do it! You can do it!’ And then you jump in that race with me, leading the way, giving me focus on the prize that will come in the end. My God, you are so real and so wonderful. Thank you for your grace to continue believing in me, even when I’m tempted to settle for less. To you be the glory for any good that comes from this mortal body you’re training up. In the ever present name of Jesus, Amen.

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Accepting Imperfection

For years I’ve struggled with perfectionism, and unfortunately that prevents some things from actually being “complete(d)”.

My desire for perfection is not wrong. We were made for it! Perfect bodies, perfect relationships, perfect minds… It’s like something deep inside me keeps trying to find the perfection my soul looks for.

It’s not wrong to long for it; just wrong to expect it on earth. It can’t be found here. There is truly something wrong with everything!

One day perfection will come again (AMEN!).

Until then, I’ve since fired my inner critic and am trying to accept the earthly imperfections; which takes the burden off me. I am accepting who I am instead of who I wish I was, while accepting others as they are and the world as it is, instead of striving to put a stamp of perfection on them. Much joy and freedom has been found in my heart as the chains of perfection have been released.

God, you see the deepest parts of my heart; how I’ve allowed perfectionism to penetrate into my work and relationships and crowd out my joy. Cleanse my mind, sanctify my soul… May I instead become a girl of grace, a woman who reflects your joy for others to see. I can’t do it on my own. God, go deep inside me and do your work. May my heart find contentment in this acceptance, looking only to you as the Perfect One, my Father, Author and Creator. Craft on me a renewed sense of joy! In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

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Love By Faith

The difficult part of praying for a life that mirrors Christ’s love, is that we are faced to love when we don’t want to, when we don’t feel like it, when we get nothing obvious in return, when they don’t deserve it, when they’re not worth it, when they don’t know it and even when it makes no difference. Yet, we live it out anyways.

For the last few months now, I have been convicted of Christ’s love as I pray to share more of it. There is someone who deeply and ruthlessly betrayed me over the course of three years. In wisdom, every counselor and mentor advised strict boundaries to stay away from the toxicity and ‘unsafe’ person. I forgave their actions and prayed for healing and restoration in their lives. A few months later, I moved states away. But the harassment and hurting continued until one day, this person also moved to my new city and stepped into my circle of friends. I became so distraught by the turmoil of pain and alone in my struggle. It seemed no matter how I tried to ‘brush off the dirt’ and walk away from the past, God’s love was pressing in deeper, asking me not to walk away from people. With nowhere else to turn, I began praying for a desire to deeply love them and God’s power to walk in it. I felt everything in me die as I invited Jesus to do the impossible; to help me love the ‘unlovable’.

As the weeks passed, I continued praying through the pain until that day came; when Jesus carried me in courage, strength and favor. The love of Christ consumed me as I sought out and embraced this person. And only in His power, my heart was able to walk out a love that desired to willingly serve. Instantly, I experienced insurmountable JOY and FREEDOM that I cannot adequately describe.

I think we find loving so painful because we try to love with our own emotions and our eyes fail us when love doesn’t bring about the exact results we want and asked for. But we are called to love by faith. Love our enemies by faith. Love our betrayers by faith. Love a bitter parent by faith… not a feeling. Living love is a daily commitment to throw off preferential affections. We live by faith. We love by faith. If we truly become a person who makes a lifestyle of believing God, we will become bolder in our love for others and what we’re willing to believe God for in their lives.

Walking in love doesn’t always feel warm fuzzy. Sometimes our only motivation is obedience to God. If no one else catches the love we sacrificially give, know that God will.

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:5

Oh my Lord, the things you bring us through astounds my eyes. You are faithful to deliver us from the stronghold of bitterness and hatred, so that our hearts may experience the freedom and joy you authored in this life! May the fruit of Christ’s love within us surface in our words and walk today. We come yielded to your authority, may we be so filled by your Spirit, Lord. Guide us to those relationships we still harbor grief in. God, give us the strength to walk out your unfailing love. Help us to actively love others and pray those big prayers for them. You were faithful yesterday and you will be faithful today. We trust you for more faithfulness in our future. May we love by this same faith.

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Heart Surgery

The seconds feel like forever, so I have no words for these minutes, days and months. The beat has stopped, blood drained and my heart completely exposed. No anesthetic is administered for this operation. Folks in the waiting room should be alarmed at the length of time it’s taking, but I suppose that only reveals the severity of this sickness, the depth of my ‘disease’. Unfortunately, any complications prolonging this procedure are due to my own stubbornness. I’m clinging to the contaminated because it’s comfortable. It’s been with me for so long, we’re sadly inseparable.

My eyes are wide open during most of this, though I wish they didn’t have to be. My soul struggles with what I can see, coping with excruciating anxiety and looking for anything to pacify the pain. The sinking sharpness of His Spirit stings as the blade of His Word sinks a little deeper. I pray and the compassion in His presence calms every nerve, closing the lids over my eyes. And that’s when I feel the tenderness in His touch, sedating my senses in the surgery. Tides of tears fall in rhythm with the piercing pain yet, I will be living a dead life if this procedure doesn’t happen.

Not that my mind isn’t troubled in this turmoil and the pain isn’t plentiful, but I know the Great Physician is the only one equipped to operate in such a desolate, vile place. For the most part, I find rest and peace in knowing God’s specialty is raising dead things to life. I’m discovering His ministry in my misery as this heartbreak brings great healing in others. Passion runs from the roots of pain. My writing is only the overflow of His healing nectar in my brokenness.

I haven’t known a single person who bears the evidence of God’s presence and power in their lives, who hasn’t also been asked to walk in dramatically painful obedience. Though we’re changed on the inside, our minds take time to catch up. Paul reminds us of this in Ephesians 4:22 You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds.

Lord, I want to see generations fall into your heart. No more lies, no more fears. Consume their hearts, open eyes and craft their character to see and be magnetized by the beauty of who you are that their feet will fall into the path that leads to righteous, holy living. Despite depression or despair due to my own decisions, you will always be my Daddy. Your word says you are the Defender of the weak and draw near to the brokenhearted. I’m inviting you to come deeper than before and let me drink from your well of life. I am securely yours with no shame. Drench me in your grace and peace and create a new thing in and through me as I willingly lay bare my weaknesses, so that your power, my King, may be made perfect. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

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Live Like Love

I just finished viewing the new ‘Son of God’ movie. Based on a true story movies are gripping because we connect on a real life level with the people. This particular picture allowed me to step into the epic truth of who Jesus was and is and partway through, everything in me just wanted to stand up and proclaim “HE IS THE MESSIAH!”

And it got me thinking, how can we live our lives not sharing who God is, who Jesus is? There is no life outside Christ, but what we call ‘ambition’, ‘a career’, ‘a name for ourselves’, maybe even ‘contentment’. Sadly, as I too am guilty of this, we don’t actually live in the fullness of believing all who Christ says He is, otherwise we wouldn’t be so complacent with the the way things are or the use of His name. We also wouldn’t be so wrapped up in our talents or the agenda we have set out to accomplish, but only how GREAT our God is, how marvelous His works are and how good His love and desires forever will be for us. Not just by our words, but mostly by our actions will people ever get a glimpse of Jesus. Whatever the case may be, if we truly love God and love people, we cannot deny them the Truth that Jesus lives, God is love and our lives are authored to testify this.

The love of God is meant to be a powerful force in our lives, one that will take us through even the most difficult trials without our ever doubting God’s love. Sadly, it’s when things don’t turn out in my favor, I question if God is really for me; “doesn’t He want this for me?” What a small-minded thought! He’s got the whole world in His hands and yet He sent His son to die for me. There is no higher display of love! My soul is consumed by the love of Christ on that cross and I feel God’s earth-shattering affections raining down; He loves me in it and through it all. God is love.

Oh my Lord, help us not to become so short-sighted in our situations to think this life is about our own stardom, fame and fortune here and now. Let us not be wrapped up in the gifts and blessings, the pleasures and pain, but only in the beauty of who you are, Jesus. Let us throw off passion and hope for our lives to be exalted and take up your desires for a life that testifies to your great name. Redeemer, Healer, Almighty, Savior, Defender, our King! If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Your love, o Lord, it never goes away! With every breath I take, help me Lord, not lose sight of who you are. May my passions be fueled by the beauty of your Majesty and may I live like love. May I walk like a carpenter who has nothing to lose and everything to gain with your name! Amen. Amen. Amen.

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Rags to Riches to Rags

If you set 10 almonds in front of me, I will eat all 10. If you place 25 there, I will consume every last one, probably in a bowl of oatmeal with fruit on top :-). Generally, we tend to adjust our consumption based on what’s available to us. Nutritionally, it’s called ‘portion control’. According to a 2010 study by researchers at Vanderbilt University, the more money you win in the lottery, the more likely you are to end up bankrupt. And I believe it’s the same principal for people who receive big settlements through a divorce or lawsuit.

‘Get rich’ schemes or opportunities that involve making a lot of money really fast, are rarely a good idea if we’re broke already. It was poor choices that got us penniless in the first place and it’s the loss of self control that’s keeping us there. Yet there are plenty of people who believe if they could only come in on big cash, it would straighten out their situation and things would be different this time.

Luke 16:10-13 Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own? No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Financial guru Dave Ramsey says most people raise their cost of living and increase their expenses when they come into large sums of money. All of a sudden, everything becomes an emergency or necessity to buy. Studies have also found that the more a person is given in a short amount of time, the quicker they land in debt. The problem is a lack of discipline and no “pay raise” or “gifting” is going to get to the depth of this habit that is holding us back from prosperity.

shutterstock_79924093You ever think about what this means for our relationship with God? Pastor Craig Groeschel from Lifechurch.tv just finished up a series called “Being Rich”.  He reminded me that the promises money makes are deceitful. Money swears us security and happiness, but those gifts are only what God can provide. All money can do is make you more of what you already are. If you’re miserable now, a wad of ‘frogskins’ will only make you more of it. Happiness can’t be bought with cash in hand. Ecclesiastes 5:10 Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.

It’s more difficult to depend on God when needs are met with your money. Scripture tells us there’s no faith in the things you can see. Jesus knew money and things would be a competitor for our hearts with God and with others spoke often about it. Truthfully, money has destroyed a few relationships in my life and come between love. In the end, money won’t cure a heart problem.

Sometimes, we don’t realize our desire to work more, so that we earn more, is hurting others. Groeschel pointed out “if you ever hurt your loved ones so you could work more to make more money, then you serve money and you’re under it’s power.” Essentially, we then are a slave to money. Great wealth only distorts what’s really important. We’re called to trust in God who richly provides, not how much we have. Treasure people’s hearts and not our own finances. Be concerned about others and walking in love instead of our own needs and desires. That’s the heart of Jesus.

Don’t let the temporary need or desire of money come between the lasting legacy of love. That’s my two cents. 😉

Heavenly Father, I’m encouraged in your reminders about riches that you knew us even then; the devil has always used the deceit of money against us. It’s a struggle for my mind to understand at times that money is not for me. You are for me, Lord. The riches I find in you cannot be imitated with what the world offers. Help me not to be frustrated in times of need, but to press deeper into my faith trusting in you.

The richest thing I could possibly have is already living in my heart. Your holy spirit is my most treasured gift. With you, I am already a wealthy woman in this land. I don’t need a castle when I wake up dwelling in your courts. It’s your presence that gives me the peace that money can’t buy. Let my heart never go broke again. Guide my life, lead me in your disciplines to invest in this gift of you, Jesus. Amen.

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Breaking Out From A Rut and Planting New Roots

This has been a tough few weeks. I have felt deterred by the weight of devil’s cunning devices to distract my good intentions with mediocrity. I’ve been settling on things that are ‘acceptable’ and ‘honorable’ but not beneficial or considered wise concerning His plans for me.

My determined worship that discovers facets of His being have been disturbed and I utterly miss His secrets; about Himself, His plans, His desires for my life. All this busyness has been meaningless when you consider that I’ve made Jesus a ritual of religiosity, merely breathing through the motions of morning prayer. The roots of my relationship with Jesus go deeper than my most recent attempts to usher in His presence and that is why I so tenderly confess that my heart has been slowly breaking for a breakthrough.

I didn’t just wake up here. Some weeks ago, I allowed Satan to steal my joy through a circumstance that didn’t come out as I had hoped. A rather crushing blow. I let the devil demoralize my heart by preying on one of my greatest fears. I had failed… me. Days of seeking and studying ‘joy’ did not parade in a restored life of rejoicing. With every fiber in the fabric of my being, I have been so desperate for an intervention of deep communion with God. I’ve been crying out for Christ to intercede.

Joshua 1:5 “No man will be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you.”

Did you catch that? He will not fail us. We may fail, but God will not. And He is for us! Failure doesn’t always look like a grievous sin or mishap. Sometimes it’s a slow decline or decay that snatches up unsuspecting, sincere followers of Christ. God is the strong arm that picks us up when we struggle to stand on our own. Abba wipes away our tears, brushes off the bloodied scrapes on our knees and mends the wound in His warm embrace. When our Author’s plans for hope and a future seem out of reach, He reaches down to offer them up! At this time, it seems all I can do is cast myself entirely upon His ability. I’m blinded to any ambition but to please God. I’m grabbing onto the hem of His garment for healing and grace to go where He leads. As I walk in the shadow of the Almighty, He equips me to do the impossible. There I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.