Just three months ago, my church launched a 90-day tithing challenge. It was a call to trust in God that He would provide for us beyond our imagination. As I sat in the audience, I thought ‘well what more could He do for me that He’s not already doing… I tithe, I trust, that’s not a challenge’. But the spirit spoke to me ‘just because you already tithe and trust, doesn’t mean you can’t ask for more. Perhaps the problem is not so much that you don’t believe, but that you are trusting Him with all the small stuff.’.

I pulled out the bulletin insert and wrote ‘I’m taking the 90-day tithing challenge’. I wrote out a check for ‘ten percent’ and tossed it in the tithe bucket with my declaration. As it turns out, my sister couldn’t afford rent or her cell phone bill this month. So upon returning home, I wrote another check in the amount of her bills. As the next few Sundays flew by, people from the church climbed the stage to share their testimony of how God was providing in miraculous ways for their families since taking ‘the challenge. But 30 days in, I was beginning to feel the weight of my committment as my sister couldn’t afford another month’s worth of rent or the phone bill. I wrote out my challenge check and spotted her the cash with my parttime wages with trust that God was going to make everything alright.

60 days in, more extraordinary testimonies were being delivered at church, still not one had come to pass for me. I did begin to feel a heavy burden though, for the particular situation I was living in. It was a few months worth of harbored hurts that all began to stack up in my heart until I reached for a pen and wrote a letter to my landlord as notice of my departure. I had no place to go or any money to fall on, but I heard Him say this was the right thing to do.

As it turns out, my sister couldn’t afford rent or her phone bill for the third month in a row. So very shakily, I wrote the check for the challenge and cleaned out the rest of my savings to keep a roof over our heads. It was now mid-month, I still had no place to go. I remember sitting in front of the fireplace with my spiritual mentor talking about some of the deeper convictions I had been facing when she stopped me ‘you know Trisha, God is just placing it on my heart to tell you that my husband and I have a spare bedroom in our home if you’d want to stay with us. Pray about it and let me know what you decide’. Well it didn’t take too much prayer to know immediately this was what I had been waiting for! One last thing, what about my house full of ‘stuff’? Well, it turns out the church had a single car garage completely empty and offered it up as a place to store everything free of charge. In one week, everything I owned was packed up and stored away and I had a new address. As I went to the pastor to share my 90-day tithe testimony, he said ‘do you realize today wraps up the last day of the challenge’? My desperation knew I was close, but my faith didn’t care. I tested Him and He came through just like He says He will.

One last thing to note… one of my biggest struggles is patience 😉 God knew exactly what He was doing when He made me wait. It was all in His timing and in the end, with the enemy of time, logic and fear staring me in the face, I learned to trust Him, lean on Him and demonstrate a radical hope and faith in His promise.

I hear the Spirit of God speak through some very poinent, bold statements made by Francis Chan. It just sticks. Here are a few…
“But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.

“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.

“It is true that God may have called you to be exactly where you are. But, it is absolutely vital to grasp that he didn’t call you there so you could settle in and live your life in comfort and superficial peace.

“Lukewarm living and claiming Christ’s name simultaneously is utterly disgusting to God.

To wake up one day and find oneself alone in hell is the most disturbing, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, soul shattering feeling I’ve ever claimed to know. My body physically trembled in fear, my mind refused to grant rest, I grew weakened with every waking moment until every muscle, every emotion, every limb in my body limped to that rope and collapsed, not even able to hold on for a last moment. And as I fell… in His loving mercy, Jesus stretched out his arms to catch the beauty He created. I cried out in humility, His embrace carried me to help that night. A dim light was cast upon the narrow path I needed to walk. I saw an angel at the entrance with his hand held out. I took a step forward and grasped tightly as understanding and strength trickled into my bones. Further down the path, I saw another angel with an outstretched arm. I reached for it. My mind began to swirl, I could not see and everything went cold. I awoke, soaked in sweat, alone, laying in the depths of darkness. Where was I? How did this happen? My mind was too naive of the enemy’s disguise. No! No! No! I don’t want to be here. The taunts began again. They called out from the grave I buried. They refused to let rest come upon my soul as I quivered in pride that I could be here, yet again. The hatred was intensified this time. A depression suppressed even the slight weakness left in me. My mind gave up. My heart was artificially alive on bed rest, my body just a decaying flesh. My soul slowly immersed in a pool of voices that created a heaviness which weighed down my spirit, paralyzing every part left of me… as fear of drowning set in. Submerged in evil, there was a last gasp of breath left before the end… my quivering lips made a desperate howl for help; an authentic heaving heard around the globe. My lungs deflated in grief as the sorrow to weep was bereft of life. The body had finally broken, the scraps washed away. The air went silent.

pas·sion [pash–uhn]
Definition: any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate; strong amorous feeling or desire.
I have a few passions in life; a passion for people, a passion for public speaking, a passion for motion pictures, a passion for causes and places… but one passion of mine stands on its own; it outweighs the sum of all others- my faith in God and the sacrifice He made through His son Jesus (it’s important for me to spell that out and not shy around the bold verbage). Since the day I accepted Christ as my savior, I’ve carried a reverent fear of the Lord in my heart. Shortcuts, shortcomings, even leeways in character bother my core. Not because I’m afraid of the consequence (although I should be)- I’m hurt that my soul would display such humiliating acts unto a God that loved(s) me so much. A God who made such majestic creations, wonders of the cosmos and me… and called it all good. My heart races from an eagerness, excitement, fervor and zest to agony, suffering, and misery to vehemence, rage, rapture and fired up. I am utterly in awe of God’s amazing works and abandon my heart to the Lord.

It’s been six months since I first embarked on the wonderful world of being a barista. It’s become my ‘business before hours’. While others stay up all night sharing the city’s gossip over a little bubbly, I network over a sunrise and a piping hot roast. I never expected to stay longer than six months, but here I am enjoying every cup I serve. There’s such a dynamic in the type of people I serve; it’s become the perfect place to people watch. Even the ‘partners’ I work with would make for an instant hit remake of ‘the breakfast club’. From daybreak, this little coffee shop will consistently have cars lined up for miles, yet its where I go to to escape the hustle and bustle in life.

There are three distinct lessons I have learned as the girl in the green apron. One-how to make the sale nine out of ten times. Within seconds I can guess what you’re drinking, eating, where you work, how your day is gonna go and what I can sell that you WILL buy. Second-how to dumb down, sophisticate and strike up a conversation with anyone, no matter how shy he/she is. And lastly-how to have a good attitude and patience with customers who can’t make a decision and supervisors who aren’t skilled for leadership. It’s the green apron that keeps me humble when I feel I’m above the rest.

Be careful little eyes what you see, It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings, Be careful little feet where you go, For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow. It’s a slow fade, when you give yourself away, It’s a slow fade, when black and white have turned to gray. Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid, When you give yourself away, People never crumble in a day, It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade.
Be careful little ears what you hear, When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near, Be careful little lips what you say, For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray. It’s a slow fade, when you give yourself away, It’s a slow fade, when black and white have turned to gray, Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid, When you give yourself away, People never crumble in a day.
The journey from your mind to your hands, Is shorter than you’re thinking, Be careful if you think you stand, You just might be sinking. It’s a slow fade, when you give yourself away, It’s a slow fade, when black and white have turned to gray, Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid, When you give yourself away, People never crumble in a day, Daddies never crumble in a day, Families never crumble in a day.
Oh be careful little eyes what see, Oh be careful little eyes what you see, For the Father up above is looking down in love, Oh be careful little eyes what you see.

1. Lukewarm People attend church fairly regularly. It is what is expected of them, what they believe “good Christians” do, so they go.
“The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.” – Isa. 29:13

2. Lukewarm people give money to charity and to the church… as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give, they do so. After all, God loves a cheerful giver, right?
“King David replied to Araunah, ‘No! I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing.’” – 1 Chronicles 21:24
“As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. ‘I tell you the truth,’ he said, ‘this poor widow has put in more than all the other. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on’” – Luke 21:1-4

3. Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict. They desire to fit in both at church and outside of church; they care more about what people think of their actions (like church attendance and giving) than what God thinks of their hearts and lives.
“Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.” – Luke 6:26
“I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.” – Rev. 3:1

4. Lukewarm people say they love Jesus, and He is, indeed, a part of their lives. But only a part. They give Him a section of their time, their money, and their thoughts, but He isn’t allowed to control their lives.
“As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, ‘I will follow you wherever you go.’ Jesus replied, ‘Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.’ He said to another man, ‘Follow me.’ But the man replied, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.’ Still another said, ‘I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.’ Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the service in the kingdom of God.” – Luke 9:57-62

5. Lukewarm people love God, but they do not love Him with all their heart, soul, and strength. They would be quick to assure you that they try to love God that much, but that sort of total devotion isn’t really possible for the average person; it’s only for pastors and missionaries and radicals.
“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.” – Matt. 22:37-38

6. Lukewarm people think about earth much more often than eternity in heaven. Daily life is mostly focused on today’s to-do list, this week’s schedule, and next month’s vacation. Regarding this, C. S. Lewis writes, “If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.”
“For as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.” – Phil. 3:18-20
“Set your mind on the things above, not on earthly things.” – Col. 3:2

7. Lukewarm people do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling too guilty. They want to do the bare minimum, to be “good enough without it requiring too much of them. They ask, “how far can I go before it’s considered a sin” Instead of “How can I keep myself pure as a temple of the Holy Spirit?” They ask, “How much do I have to give?” Instead of “How much can I give?” They ask, “How much time should I spend praying and reading my Bible?” Instead of “I wish I didn’t have to go to work, so I could sit here and read longer!”
“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.” – Matthew 13:44-45

8. Lukewarm people will serve God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go or how much time, money, and energy they are willing to give.
“‘All these commandments I have kept since I was a boy,’ he said. When Jesus heard this, he said to him, ‘You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth. Jesus looked at him and said, ‘How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God’” (Luke 18:21-25).

9. Lukewarm people are thankful for their luxuries and comforts, and rarely consider trying to give as much as possible to the poor. They are quick to point out, “Jesus never said money is the root of evil, only that the love of money is.” Untold numbers of lukewarm people feel “called” to minister to the rich; very few feel “called” to minister to the poor.
“Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world… I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me” (Matt. 25:34, 40).
“Is not this kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” (Isa. 58:6-7)

10. Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control. This focus on safe living keeps them from sacrificing and risking for God.
“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.” (1 Tim. 6:17-18)
“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both the soul and body in hell.” (Matt. 10:28)

11. Lukewarm people feel secure because they attend church, made a profession of faith at age twelve, were baptized, come from a Christian family, vote Republican, or live in America. Just as the prophets in the Old Testament warned Israel that they were not safe just because they lived in the land of Israel, so we are not safe just because we wear the label Christian or because some people persist in calling us a “Christian nation.”
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matt. 7:21)
“Woe to you who are complacent in Zion, and to you who feel secure on Mount Samaria, you notable men of the foremost nation.” (Amos 6:1)

12. Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to. They don’t have to trust God if something unexpected happens – they have their savings account. They don’t need God to help them – they have their retirement plan in place. They don’t genuinely seek out what life God would have them live – they have life figured and mapped out. They don’t depend on God on a daily basis – their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, their lives wouldn’t look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God.”

“And he told them this parable: The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ Then he said,’This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, ‘You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry.’ But God said to him,’You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.” (Luke 12:16-21)

-from Francis Chan’s book “Crazy Love”

Its been 3 months since I felt the sunny skies of Florida and yet the grief from saying goodbye hasn’t hit until today when I finally unpacked all that I stuffed into a POD in the blazing heat of a late July afternoon. My eyes grazed over the blanket of white sand still glimmering over the boxes and bags. Each grainial reminds me of each friend I made in the sunshine state. The soft, white dusting is remnents of a life of ‘luxury’ I once lived… A dream. The scatteredness of its dusting tells me that life is no longer and simulates the confusion, questions and randomness my life has taken on. And yet as a small army of trailers and hands helped me unpack the mound that was stacked by three bodies, i’m overwhelmed by the love and support I have here. While i’m mourning the closure of a chapter, i’m learning to trust in the love of friendships and my heavenly father-that they each have my back during a time i’m so unsure of my tomorrow.

Yesterday I spent the day driving across the great state of Iowa. I was blown away by the majestic colors spread across the countryside. The reds and oranges fading amongst the yellows was absolutely the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time. It was hard to catch my breath at it’s brilliance! I’ve been used to greens and blues for the last six years, it was pleasant to see another sign of life and a time change occuring before my eyes.

I spent the weekend with family, celebrating my dad’s 50th birthday. It’s a reality show-must see when we gather under the same roof; unintentionally of course. Even with the drama, I feel whenever a person peels away layers of opinion, entitlement, pride, and inflated self-description, others instantly feel the connection. Beneath it all is the remarkable generative, prolific, and creative nature of ourselves and the world. That’s the true beauty of it all.