i wonder if a correlation can be made between the number of times a person falls on hard times and how quickly they can stand back up on the assurance of God.

I think the simple answer is that with each fall, brings another opportunity for God to heal the hurt. And each healing opportunity becomes a reminder that He heals every time (maybe not in our timing, but He is Jehovah Rophi). He makes our brokenness beautiful and gives us the confidence to stand back up boldly on His promises.

I do believe each time this collision of the hurt and the healer occurs, we are reminded of Jesus’s words in Matthew 6:25-27. We do not need to worry in our pain and suffering, God will take care of us. With each living example in which He has shown this very promise, we can rest in His blessed assurance ’quicker’ than the last, stand back up with readiness and start walking in His peace.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

One of my favorite things to do is sit in a park and reflect on life. I watch families play together, fish or picnic. I see sweathearts walk hand in hand or read on a blanket and it all makes me smile as I think about the love they may be experiencing… what joy they must feel. Many probably aren’t even recognizing the rare and precious happiness or comfort their hearts may be in. I watch for what seems like minutes but is more like hours. I imagine flying in the wind to grip a receiving Frisbee or basking in the sunlight with someone’s hand caressing my arm.

This is what I thank God for-the joy I find through daydreams and others. I pray for the family I hope one day to help make,  the wife God is forming me into, the husband who may stand beside me and the children I may one day love.

In the Old Testament, the tribe of Judah was always to march out first in front of all of the other tribes into battle. Judah means “praise.” Praise needs to go first in the battle! The Lord taught me that in order to be more effective in spiritual battle, I need to spend more time praising Him. During a horrible time in my life, I remember I could hardly praise God. I prayed to Him all the time, begging Him for help. I read my Word, went to church, spent time with Christians, etc., but I didn’t spend much time praising Him.

You can praise Him by singing along with worship music which I love to do, but I also like to declare who He is out loud. Just say something like: You are awesome God. You are Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides, Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals, You are the Alpha and the Omega, You are the great I AM, You are the Ancient of Days, You are the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace! Like facets on a diamond, He has many different names and each one reveals an insight into His character. Just as our Heavenly Father calls us by name, get to know His and experience the power found in each one.

I was speaking with a friend this morning about a mission trip he recently returned from. He & his wife talked about the disgust for how ‘we’ try to Americanize other cultures by bringing people in need our money and gifts. It’s as if we throw an offering their way and carry on with our day. And what does that teach people? Well, it creates ‘beggars’ for one. Children have caught on to the ‘missionized’ way of life, thus, they cling to foreigners for the things that will turn prosperity for their families.

I believe really what we’ve done is tried to ‘dehumanize’ other cultures, just as we ‘dehumanize’ each other. The one thing humans can do that no other created thing can do is have a relationship with God. From this created human ability, we can also have relationships with others. We were made for relationships.

In today’s world of looking for easy fixes, when someone is in need, don’t we jump to this conclusion that ‘stuff’ will fix it? Money, a house, a car, maybe just a bag of groceries? If we could just provide these things for someone in need, we’d be helping them out. But think about it… as a creation in God’s image, it’s not really more ‘stuff’ our hearts are yearning for. Our Heavenly Father, the model for our design, doesn’t want the ‘good works’ and things we can give over to Him. God longs for us to spend time with Him. He wants to have a relationship with us. A real desire to share our lives with Him. And as His children, we too have been born with this innate longing at the core of every need we have. We were created for relationship with each other… to have others long to spend time with us, to desire sharing their lives with us. And yet, there’s this perceived lack of time that prevents us from doing this with each other, just as it hinders us from also sitting down with God.

Just as we don’t seek God only for His blessings, the hearts of people in need aren’t seeking us only for what we can tangibly provide. We seek God to know Him… that is how we show love and faithfulness to our Heavenly Father. With this example we have been given, we must understand that at the core of a person’s greatest need is simply a longing from their heart for us to get to know them; a desire for us to listen, understand, sympathize, hurt and grieve, rejoice and share in the seasons of life. We need to recognize the parallel this concept shares between our relationship with each other and our relationship with God.

“A mingling of sweetness and sorrow. The sweetness so outweighs the sorrow that I have no desire to dwell on the pain. The root is deep, the covenant solid, the love is sweet. Life is hard, but God is good.

I want to be astoundingly enabled to labor on through sorrow, accomplishing more than would ever have seemed possible in a single lifetime. And people will say ‘only by God’ as they give Him all the glory and praise.” John Piper

Tonight at bible study, we were discussing which seat of faith we sit in with God. Do we call ourselves Christians, but don’t really do anything about it? Do we call ourselves Christians, attend bible studies, talk about God and carry out good deeds and that’s the extent? Or do we call ourselves Christians and really know our Heavenly Father is such an intimate, unified way where we are one with our God? Interestingly enough, only until we stand before the throne in His perfection will we ever truly know our Lord in that manner.

What I found interesting though is that someone said “well I never feel like I want to read the bible though”. And someone else chimed in “well we’re all sinful beings so we’re never really gonna be able to get it right”. What? Am I even in a bible study right now? But isn’t that what the ‘Christian’ world does? We use our ‘sinful nature’ as an excuse to keep us right there in that place in life. And because of that, our mind doesn’t really ever grasp the fullness of what sin is and does. I’m not saying there is a person on this earth who is blameless, without sin. I am saying it’s not an excuse to stay where we’re at.

I found myself a little frustrated with this kind of statement. The reality is, before we entered this world with sin, we were all created in God’s image… His holy, perfect, sinless image. And you know what that tells me? That there’s hope! Why would God use his time to warn us of sin and speak wisdom on how to stay clear of it if He thought we would never be able to conquer the problems in our lives? And not just once or twice can we overcome the sinfulness within this world, but over and over and over again we can walk in His light… in His word… in unison with His presence to know our Heavenly Father in such a powerful, exemplified way.

Thought that I was all alone, Broken and afraid, But You were there with me, Yes, You were there with me. And I didn’t even know, That I had lost my way, But You were there with me, Yes, You were there with me. ‘Til You opened up my eyes, I never knew, That I couldn’t ever make it, Without You. Even though the journey’s long, And I know the road is hard, Well, the One who’s gone before me, He will help me carry on, After all that I’ve been through, Now I realize the truth, That I must go through the valley, To stand upon the mountain of God. As I travel on the road, That You have lead me down, You are here with me, Yes, You are here with me, I have need for nothing more , Oh, now that I have found, That You are here with me, Yes, You are here with me. I confess from time to time, I lose my way, But You are always there, To bring me back again. Sometimes I think of where it is I’ve come from, And the things I’ve left behind, But of all I’ve had, what I possessed, Nothing can quite compare, With what’s in front of me, With what’s in front of me. – Third Day

God told us He would grant spiritual gifts. They can not be earned or merited, they are bestowed by God and are actual manifestations of the Spirit and have nothing to do with a person’s ‘giftedness’. This is different from the anointing He grants to us all. 1 Corinthians, Romans, Ephesians and 1 Peter all speak to the natural and miraculous spiritual gifts the Holy Spirit empowers us with. But the caveat to spiritual gifts is that they do not benefit us, they are only instilled to benefit others. While Paul did not list all the spiritual gifts, those he did share can be categorized as “gifts of knowledge” (word of wisdom, word of knowledge, distinguishing between spirits), “gifts of speech” (tongues, interpretation, prophecy), and “gifts of power” (faith, healing, miracles).

Since the age of 13, I have recognized the spiritual gift of knowledge/wisdom placed in me. Without any trial of my own, my heart and mind can distinguish spirits rapidly. My soul feels a sickness when the eyes of evil are near and there’s a tenderness present when God’s hand is upon a life. Its a ‘knowing’ that I can’t explain but can detect so clearly. I have used this to decipher those God is ‘calling me to’ and those ‘to stay clear of’. I cannot claim the spiritual gift of knowledge, but there have been instances that knowledge has been delivered to me… where I know of things to come in the lives of others or things past that I would otherwise have no way of knowing. I also cannot claim the word of wisdom, but I can say that many elders have spoken of a wisdom in my words that raises eyebrows.

The challenge to be given a gift like this from God is how to use it in reverence to those who may not understand or don’t care to understand. I can honestly say not many Christians even understand the complexity of spiritual gifts. While some gifts can be praised, others are chastised. I’m not sure if it’s an unbelief that the gift exists in such a person or if it’s just a lack of belief in the bible in general. I have been shunned, sneared at, put down and looked at as a liar for the knowledge I have been given. I wonder if our ‘selfish’ nature makes for an unbelieving society… that because we know our own selfishness and evil desires, we choose not to believe in a spiritual gift to protect ourselves from a possibility. So are we saving ourselves from a possibility of evil or the possibility of experiencing God?

Closing out the old year, bringing in a new, one thing I have learned over the last 365 days is that it’s okay to wail in grief, scream for joy, sit in the silence, or completely abandon the good things of this world for God’s best we have only the eyes of faith to see. Gearing up for what God has in store, I’m praying that I would pour out love even when discouraged, still giving, even when spent, still patient even when exasperated, still sensitive if ever offended, still hopeful amidst disappointment.