The Life Support of Community

I never realized how important community was until the day I found myself in the valley of life without it.

For much of my life, fear and faith have flip-flopped, taking the lead. Most days I would wake up so full of faith and so sure of my mission in life. But then there were those dreaded days; I cared way too much about who was watching, what they might be thinking, and what people were saying.

I was 30 when life was starting over for me. I had recently gone through a divorce and left behind life as I knew it- a career, my friendships- to be closer to my family during this season.

I tried to stay busy to keep my mind from sinking beneath the waves of pain, the shame, and the loneliness, so I took a part-time job at a coffee shop. I found that even with a high dose of caffeine running through my veins, I struggled to keep a fake smile. I wanted so desperately to belong somewhere, but the feeling of being a failure was only digging me a deeper grave.

One night I found myself at the bottom of the basement stairs with a rope around my neck. It felt like a spiritual darkness had taken control. My self-worth had reached rock bottom, and my flame of hope was nothing but smoke. I wanted to give up, give in, let fear have its way.

That night, what seemed like the end of my life actually became a new beginning.

The chair refused to budge beneath me. I collapsed to the floor in a pile of tears and called my family; I need help, that’s all I could say.

Something in me surrendered that night.

I knew I needed someone to talk to, to share this pain, to find a way out of the shame, so the following day my folks drove me to a hospital. I wish I could say the doctors had some answers, but all they gave me was a diagnosis: major depressive disorder. The pharmacy supplied me with strong antidepressants and sleeping aids, then sent me home.

I needed healing. I needed friendship. I needed a community who would stand with me, but I didn’t know where to turn. I started to pray for a friend, a partner to walk through life with me.

I went back to work at the coffee shop. One day, while I was stirring up a white mocha, one of the customers asked how I was doing. I knew she was a believer; I had seen her in the store with her bible several times before. I don’t know where the strength came from, but I blurted out the truth: I need help.

She gave me her phone number and asked me to come into the church sometime; she was the spiritual formation director there. As soon as my shift at the shop was over, I raced into her office. She listened to my story and then offered me a room in her home to stay with her family.

When the needs of your spirit are met with timely chances, consider it as more than a coincidence.

During those months living side by side with Holy Spirit-filled souls, my heart came alive again. What a privilege it was to be seated at that table, to be a part of a community of believers, a family who loved and laughed, who prayed and fasted and studied God’s Word together. I leaned in on faith with all that I had and let go of all my expectations, all my fears, all my shame. From that moment on, my life with Jesus radically changed from the inside out.

God created us all for community to help shoulder life’s struggles, to speak into the darkness with God’s Truths about life.

If you came here hurting today, I hope that you find the strength to speak up. If you showed up with the Word of God securely in your spirit, I’m asking you to stretch your faith and share what you have. Don’t be afraid to reach out and embrace all that it means to live in community because this is how we flourish in life.