Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Tag Archives: love
Let God Have You
34 lessons I’ve learned over the years
marking my 34th birthday
In 34 years, here’s what I’ve learned…
- Love is the answer; being right rarely is.
- We spend way too much time in the work of crafting ourselves, and far too little time just being ourselves.
- The greatest adventures come from wrong turns, so don’t let fear stop you.
- Discipline is important to achieving dreams. Grace is even more important.
- You can start over whenever you decide to.
- Your childhood gives you character but it doesn’t control who you become.
- Worrying about something that might happen is wasted energy.
- If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful people.
- Success is not defined by status, money, education, career or another person but by the peace in your heart.
- Money doesn’t give you character. Failure does.
- When someone shows their true colors, don’t try to repaint them.
- Anger isn’t nearly as impressive as patience. Nor is it as effective.
- Listen more and talk less.
- Boyfriends and husbands are lovely. Close girlfriends are gold.
- You have to go home with your heart, so love freely but keep the key.
- Vulnerability is the strength that separates the strong from the weak.
- Everyone has a story. Make time for the adventure.
- The more mistakes you make the more you learn. Take risks.
- Dimming your light to make others feel more comfortable doesn’t serve you. Or them.
- Go neither right nor left at the fork. Go right up the middle. Choose the narrow path. Take someone with you.
- After thinking I would never fall in love again, I did.
- No one has it all together. Forgive people. Even your exes. They’re just winging it, too.
- There’s not just one person for you. Love takes a commitment. If you’re both willing, you can make a relationship work. Soul mates are made over time.
- Another person will never complete you. Only you can do that.
- If you’re not happy with yourself, you’ll never be happy in a relationship.
- No amount of designer handbags or shoes is going to make you happy in the long run. The same goes for chocolate chip cookies.
- The way people treat you is probably more about them, not you.
- Boundaries are about self-preservation, not about alienation.
- Black and white is an illusion. Life is gray.
- Help out someone less fortunate for the joy of doing it. Then keep it to yourself.
- Small minds focus on problems. Big thinkers focus on solutions.
- Working hard doesn’t mean working smart.
- Failure only happens to quitters.
- Believe everyone has good intentions… even God.
People Over Plans
It’s only a few days now, and no, I’m still not ready for the ever-important appointments that have been set with some of the largest publishers around the country. My perfectionist, people pleasing personality is not happy about it one bit.
It’s saying, ‘try harder. You still have time. Don’t you dare go there un-prepared. Don’t let these people down by wasting time at the table with one sheet. Your future is hinging upon this.’
I stressed over the content. I strained my eyes at the screen. Then I got on my knees in surrender. ‘I can’t do it, Lord. I don’t know what to write and I can’t create something out of nothing. I give up. I’m not staring at the keys and a blank screen any longer until you tell me what to write.’
My body collapsed from the physical exertion and pressure I put on myself. I let out groans and sobs only the Spirit could understand. And then I began to praise.
Some minutes later, in state of mental exhaustion, I found myself staring at the ceiling in awe of a wonderful God, who created the heavens and earth and all things in it, and then stitched me.
Your plans have become your priority, but what about my people?
My ears perked up, ‘Oh God. I pushed people out and prioritized my plan for these appointments because I thought you opened this door for me?’
I did. And I can close it too. Desire me, seek me, pursue me and I will give you the desires of your heart. I will open doors no man can open. Trust me.
‘I understand. I’m sorry God for making this about me and my wisdom. So now what?’ I asked.
Make the chapters about (Beeeeeeeep. I can’t tell you this or it will ruin the element of surprise when the book is released ;-)). But let’s just say it is brilliant! What else would you expect from the greatest Author ever?
So I wrote down what He said and I let out a sigh of relief from pressure to perform.
There will be no book proposal to hand publishers. And to be honest, I’m not scared. I have seen God create pathways in my life where man has said there is no way. I am confident His work will be done here.
What I did do though is spend the next few days sharing moments over meals, movies and music with friends from all walks in my life.
I made people my priority over plans.
Ps. Last night, I fired up the oven and whipped up a batch of muffins for a friend in celebration of this new-found freedom.
If the stale, all-purpose baking mix was any indication of the last time I had stepped behind a stove in the name of service, good Lord! I suppose I made up for this shameful admittance by the number of ingredients I included in those gluten free, raspberry, lemon, poppy seed muffins. I only required my friend to try one, so 
she could taste the intent of my heart that had been resurrected in the name of love for people over my plans.
Just in case you’re wondering… I whipped up a batch of flourless oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies for her family instead. I couldn’t leave our story on stale muffins. 😉
Living Without Limits
When God sees you, He sees unlimited possibility. He sees unlimited potential. He sees unlimited resources. God’s grace and favor in your life enables you to become what He sees. He is faithful.
“He raised us up together with Him…that He might clearly demonstrate through the ages to come the immeasurable (limitless, surpassing) riches of His free grace (His unmerited favor)…” Ephesians 2:6-7
I’ve been listening to Pastor Judah Smith speak at my church (Lifechurch.tv) about God’s agape love for us. We have a God who knows the past and doesn’t hold it against us, but we also serve a God who knows the future and all the painful decisions we’re about to make, and He still doesn’t hold that against us. He loves us in the present. His love prevails today.
This concept rocked my world to think of the unchanging love of God. I set limits on my life because I don’t understand this kind of faithfulness. I cannot comprehend this kind of non-judgmental goodness. A God who knows darkness and still showers us in love.
I limit God’s work of love in my life because I don’t fully understand His unfading affections. I limit God in my thinking and doubt that He can still love me, with all His might, in my moment of weakness. I limit my steps with unbelief that He will catch me when I go broke and fall.
It’s a struggle to separate my conditional kind of love from the unconditional nature of God.
I’m thinking about in the book of Mark when Jesus couldn’t do mighty works in a particular town because of the unbelief of the people? The limits I put on my life can prevent the hand of Jesus from doing a work here.
Pastor Judah put it in perspective: God loves bad people. God doesn’t waste His love.
I felt so empowered by this. Even when I’m a bad person, God is loving me in that moment. There’s nothing that can hinder or diminish His kind of love.
Just this past week I struggled through a broken heart, burdened by 
loneliness from the Father. Today, my passion is blazing once again. Free in His everlasting love. My heart is awakened to His devotion, His love, not mine. In confidence, I’m stepping out in faith and expectancy. I know He created a life of open doors for His work to be accomplished, and I’m ready to walk through them. Multiply it, Lord.
I’m losing the limits. I’m ready to live the limitless life He has prepared for me!
Father, Your unlimited love and grace astonishes me. I know You have good things in store for me. Help me to remove the limits I’ve projected on my life and live in the abundant joy of Your surpassing love. I give You everything that I am and ask that You use me for Your glory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Made For Love
Are you filling your life with something tangible because your emotions are missing the intangible gift of love?
Lately, I’ve been overindulging in emotional eating. No sooner than finishing the last bite of a cow and my stomach is signaling to eat the hog too. It’s a pretty serious problem. Even now, as I type this at 7:30 p.m., I’m taking down several chewy Chips Ahoy and no amount of self control or fullness is registering, so I’m tackling an ice cream sundae because dinner didn’t fill me up.
I’ve had my own hypothesis for these buried emotions I’ve been sweeping under the table I’m gorging at, but my solution is enough exercise will zero out the day and hours of self analysis can be avoided. (I’m going to go out on a limb and say all our problems stem from the same thing I’ve been settling my stomach with.)
My available time is shrinking this summer, which means I need to figure out a better method to make up for these meals or stop being a coward and deal with these emotions so I can stop overeating. The solutions are slim so I invested in wisdom; Breaking Free From Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth.
My hypothesis was right. The deeper emotion that causes people to react in reaching for food is… love, or a lack of, I should say. 
People are lonely deep down and they want to feel loved, so they eat to suppress their appetite for affections. It stems from the lack of tenderness and touch in our lives. The stomach isn’t empty, just the love tank.
Regardless of whether you’re single or in a committed relationship, God made us all for love. If you’re body isn’t experiencing a form of love daily, it reacts through depression, anger, anxiety and withdrawal.
I even believe the source of a sour character is a scarcity of love. An inner revolt happens when there is a deficit of devotion and sentiment surrounding our soul; touch, time, gifts, affirmation and even service.
The hard truth is, you may be getting what you’re giving. You are a life created for love, but also a life made to live love. So I thought about how to live love. But the reality is, you can’t walk in these ways of you’re wandering in the wilderness of ‘busyness’.
So first, get free from the demands holding you down and then load up your empty love tank with what it’s really lacking:
1) Guard your heart and mind with the Word of God daily. Don’t let the sun go down or come up without the Word in your mind and on your heart. After all, God is love. If you are in need of love, you are in need of God.
2) Find more friends who are in a similar position of life as you. If you’re single, find single friends. If you’re married, get with other couples.
3) Allow others to love you. We are generally a selfish society. We want love the way we want it. A preference is good, but I’m challenging you to renew your perspective and accept love in the way it’s given. Take what you can get and find the good in it.
4) Love lavishly. Encourage others. Get involved in other’s lives (it can be online). Give your time to someone, or even something they care about. Ask questions and follow up! Generously give out hugs. Invite someone to coffee, dinner, a movie or a walk .
Everyone was created to be loved.
Next time you reach for the refrigerator or have an adverse attitude, understand food won’t fill your deeper need. Get un-busy and start extravagantly loving others, and this love will overflow their reservoir and flood your own.
God, you see the depths of our hearts and know that void space that’s crying out for love. Help us to see the need in others. Give us the willingness and energy to begin pouring out what little love we have left in us, trusting that You will bring a mighty flood our way. You are Love. Help us to take Your Word and Spirit and transform lives with the unselfish nature of who You are. In the name of Love, I pray this in Jesus’s precious name, Amen.
Love By Faith
The difficult part of praying for a life that mirrors Christ’s love, is that we are faced to love when we don’t want to, when we don’t feel like it, when we get nothing obvious in return, when they don’t deserve it, when they’re not worth it, when they don’t know it and even when it makes no difference. Yet, we live it out anyways.
For the last few months now, I have been convicted of Christ’s love as I pray to share more of it. There is someone who deeply and ruthlessly betrayed me over the course of three years. In wisdom, every counselor and mentor advised strict boundaries to stay away from the toxicity and ‘unsafe’ person. I forgave their actions and prayed for healing and restoration in their lives. A few months later, I moved states away. But the harassment and hurting continued until one day, this person also moved to my new city and stepped into my circle of friends. I became so distraught by the turmoil of pain and alone in my struggle. It seemed no matter how I tried to ‘brush off the dirt’ and walk away from the past, God’s love was pressing in deeper, asking me not to walk away from people. With nowhere else to turn, I began praying for a desire to deeply love them and God’s power to walk in it. I felt everything in me die as I invited Jesus to do the impossible; to help me love the ‘unlovable’.
As the weeks passed, I continued praying through the pain until that day came; when Jesus carried me in courage, strength and favor. The love of Christ consumed me as I sought out and embraced this person. And only in His power, my heart was able to walk out a love that desired to willingly serve. Instantly, I experienced insurmountable JOY and FREEDOM that I cannot adequately describe.
I think we find loving so painful because we try to love with our own emotions and our eyes fail us when love doesn’t bring about the exact results we want and asked for. But we are called to love by faith. Love our enemies by faith. Love our betrayers by faith. Love a bitter parent by faith… not a feeling. Living love is a daily commitment to throw off preferential affections. We live by faith. We love by faith. If we truly become a person who makes a lifestyle of believing God, we will become bolder in our love for others and what we’re willing to believe God for in their lives.
Walking in love doesn’t always feel warm fuzzy. Sometimes our only motivation is obedience to God. If no one else catches the love we sacrificially give, know that God will.
And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:5
Oh my Lord, the things you bring us through astounds my eyes. You are faithful to deliver us from the stronghold of bitterness and hatred, so that our hearts may experience the freedom and joy you authored in this life! May the fruit of Christ’s love within us surface in our words and walk today. We come yielded to your authority, may we be so filled by your Spirit, Lord. Guide us to those relationships we still harbor grief in. God, give us the strength to walk out your unfailing love. Help us to actively love others and pray those big prayers for them. You were faithful yesterday and you will be faithful today. We trust you for more faithfulness in our future. May we love by this same faith.
Live Like Love
I just finished viewing the new ‘Son of God’ movie. Based on a true story movies are gripping because we connect on a real life level with the people. This particular picture allowed me to step into the epic truth of who Jesus was and is and partway through, everything in me just wanted to stand up and proclaim “HE IS THE MESSIAH!”
And it got me thinking, how can we live our lives not sharing who God is, who Jesus is? There is no life outside Christ, but what we call ‘ambition’, ‘a career’, ‘a name for ourselves’, maybe even ‘contentment’. Sadly, as I too am guilty of this, we don’t actually live in the fullness of believing all who Christ says He is, otherwise we wouldn’t be so complacent with the the way things are or the use of His name. We also wouldn’t be so wrapped up in our talents or the agenda we have set out to accomplish, but only how GREAT our God is, how marvelous His works are and how good His love and desires forever will be for us. Not just by our words, but mostly by our actions will people ever get a glimpse of Jesus. Whatever the case may be, if we truly love God and love people, we cannot deny them the Truth that Jesus lives, God is love and our lives are authored to testify this.
The love of God is meant to be a powerful force in our lives, one that will take us through even the most difficult trials without our ever doubting God’s love. Sadly, it’s when things don’t turn out in my favor, I question if God is really for me; “doesn’t He want this for me?” What a small-minded thought! He’s got the whole world in His hands and yet He sent His son to die for me. There is no higher display of love! My soul is consumed by the love of Christ on that cross and I feel God’s earth-shattering affections raining down; He loves me in it and through it all. God is love.
Oh my Lord, help us not to become so short-sighted in our situations to think this life is about our own stardom, fame and fortune here and now. Let us not be wrapped up in the gifts and blessings, the pleasures and pain, but only in the beauty of who you are, Jesus. Let us throw off passion and hope for our lives to be exalted and take up your desires for a life that testifies to your great name. Redeemer, Healer, Almighty, Savior, Defender, our King! If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Your love, o Lord, it never goes away! With every breath I take, help me Lord, not lose sight of who you are. May my passions be fueled by the beauty of your Majesty and may I live like love. May I walk like a carpenter who has nothing to lose and everything to gain with your name! Amen. Amen. Amen.
The Sun & The Moon
Last night I asked the Lord to shower me with His affections, to drown me in His undying love, to saturate my heart. Let this daughter not go unnoticed in this day. In my rest, I received a vision of the sun. Its radiance was in noble tints and tones, opulent oranges, glittering yellows, elegant embracing reds. It was a blazing, sweet warmth on my face. God told me He knows how I love the sun on my face, as I marveled and basked in its beauty. There is no color wheel that can contain the dyes I saw.
Then a vision of the moon, oh that moon! That moon! I had never seen a moon nearly like this before… I was close enough to see its depths… and everything in me was moved by its hues. I witnessed such grand magnificence… the purple that outlined its crevices, oh that purple… I’ve never seen purple like that before. Shades of striking red… glowing brilliant blues… the complexions cast were glorious… pure. In my captivated gaze of this moon, I awoke. Tender tears drenched my thoughts. The Maker of the Moon, the Maker of Me, My Beloved graced me with His mercy in a desperate moment for love.
Now that its morning, I realize, it’s the day of love, Valentine’s Day. I am overwhelmed at His expression of love for me. We have an amazing Father who listens to our requests and waits to drench our hearts in His love. I pray you feel His love above all else in this day.
Love Actually
Love is a verb, an action, not a word. Love motivates us to do the ‘impossible’. Love operates in supernova strength; love can move mountains.
Love requires sacrifice. The value of something is determined by how much someone is willing to give up for it. The worth of a piece of wood is only as valuable as the sacrifice.
Love can be freely given, but is not cheap. The more we pay for it, the more we invest in greater care and protection over it.
Wherever you spend most of your time, thoughts, energy, is where your love is. Sometimes our love for something, someone is ‘unseen’ and we fool ourselves into determining its worth by what the world sees.
Love is death… to every will in our flesh. Love is crucifying everything else that tries to throne itself in the only place love should be. Love is concerning, it cares… about all the little things, not just the big stuff. Love actually, is Jesus, who didn’t care about appearances, or riches, or tomorrow. Love actually, is God who cares about even the hairs on your head. Love is His Truth, which testifies to the greatest commandment of all, love for Him. To love God is to know Him, trust Him, desire Him, follow Him, to want nothing more than Him. Love is higher than hope, peace or joy; it goes beyond the bad times and sees only His good. Love is steadfast, everlasting, ever present… never-ending, never escaping, never withering. Love actually, cares for the hearts of God’s people and presses in, it embraces when the circumstance hurts beyond what we can bear. Love is self-sacrificing and walks in complete abandonment to the world, it’s worries, it’s demands, it’s temptations to give up this sacrifice because ‘you can have what you need right now’ (Matthew 4).
My Jesus, you are the Love of my life… may I love how you love. My flesh fails miserably at grasping the fullness of your love, God. May you give me this desire of my heart, that your love radiate a portrait of your steadfast, sacrificing, never-ending love for you and for others. In my weakness to love, may your love prove to be all that I cannot. Amen.