Love Leads With Forgiveness

From what I could see, the situation didn’t seem fair. The longer I stewed over the details, the more animosity and frustration grew. Deep down, I knew I needed to forgive, but self-preservation and the fear of being taken advantage of were resisting the right thing to do. “Help me, Jesus,” I cried.

Just the name of Jesus reminds us of all the right things to do.

‘And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments.’ (Luke 23:34 ESV)

love forgivesWhen Jesus was hurt or taken advantage of, He led with forgiveness. Even in his death, Jesus put forgiveness first.

The flesh has a tendency to lead relationships with our eyes and emotions, but the love of our Savior leads His relationships with forgiveness. Jesus trusted God for the deeper spiritual work in the offender and the offended. He didn’t need to control or coerce people with explanations. Jesus let his love lead with forgiveness and let God be God.

If we say we believe Jesus’ way of life is the only way to live, but yet we cannot find forgiveness for the relationships that have wronged us, do we really believe His way is the best way?

To love like Jesus, we must begin at the cross of our rights and forgiveness.

Where do you need to stretch to forgive someone who has hurt you? How quickly does it take you to forgive a relationship that has offended you? What would life look like if you led with forgiveness instead of the flesh?

Here’s a place to start in prayer: Father God, when we think about how great Your love is for us, we think about how much You have forgiven us. Jesus, when we think about how deep and wide and vast Your love is for us, we see the cross and Your sacrifice on the cross to cover our sins in forgiveness. Help us, God, to love like You do and lead our relationships with forgiveness because we believe Your way is the only way to love. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

© 2020 by Trisha Keehn. All rights reserved.

First Published on Beloved Women

What to do when you don’t know what to do

obedience, eternal gain, small steps

What to do? Most likely, it’s a question you ask often. I do.

I’m convinced when my mind understands the eternal calling here on earth, then my earthly calling will be fulfilled in eternal ways.

In other words, when you grasp that God put you here to experience mercy in the face of emotions, to extend grace when situations fall short of expectations, to flood the nations with Jesus’ love and compassion, then what you should ‘do’ is exactly this.

Our ‘calling’ can sound daunting when we hear “nations” but see only our neighborhoods.obedience, eternal gain, small steps

Start with your next step. Small steps in obedience to God’s desire for your life leads to an eternal gain.

Are you fighting selfishness? Pray for the welfare of others before you begin prayers for yourself. Are you consumed with concerns of a comfortable life; more money, more time? Then say ‘yes’ to the company of others and give away what you have all the more.

In whatever way you share Jesus with others, that is what God has called you to.

The skills, talents, and resources God has gifted you with to carry His compassion to even just one soul, that is your calling.

God’s will is that you do this with a thankful heart. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Relationships last when you struggle well

What makes relationships work

relationships, love, love well, struggle well

Being in a relationship is about finding someone you can struggle well with. If you can’t struggle well, it’s easy to walk away. That’s what I’ve learned watching my Ma and Pa work out 36 years of problems presenting themselves. I witnessed when pain and pride interrupted love with its tension, there was always a choice to press in or pull back.

relationships, love, love well, struggle wellAs iron sharpens iron, the collision of two distinctly different mindsets can spark some major fireworks. If done right, the refining process can be a beautiful thing. When both are committed to communicate and learn, the clashes can make a marriage stronger, build character, and deepen faith. It’s a necessary part of life.

To desire a comfortable, stress-free living leaves relationships at the surface. And our faith too. How we live with others is a mirror of our marriage with the Bridegroom above. To avoid the difficult parts only holds back what can be developed on the inside; spiritual maturity. There’s no promise for protection from problems. Only the potential to grow or run away.

Life will never stop handing us struggles. It is a daily reality of our faith. Holding back won’t heal the pain. My folks taught me that communicating the struggles is what seasons life; marriage can flavor with a mouthful of salt and sweet at the same time.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV

In the tension, trials and soul-felt tears, there must be an accompaniment of understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable. Otherwise, struggling can turn into an emotional response and in this moment of weakness, personal attacks and criticism come crawling out of the grave.

A thief comes in the darkest of hours to steal our joy. Just because two people stay married doesn’t mean they act married. They might be wed and wear rings for the world to notice but apathy can’t change the heart. In these moments, difficult marriages either grow or surrender.

A good marriage is not something you find; it’s something you work for. And coasting through can’t do this. Only struggles that crucify selfishness, confront pain and confess truths can create relationships of beauty and trust by instilling faithfulness and perseverance to grow.

“The more the flesh is wasted by affliction, so much the more is the spirit strengthened by inward grace.” Thomas a Kempis

When you find someone you can struggle well with, there’s an aroma of grace penetrating these dark places. There’s protruding joy, even in the deep pain. There’s understanding, a ‘leaning in’, a hug waiting when hurt and frustration find their way to the surface. These struggles draw us nearer to God.

When you struggle well, you can live with the questions.

Relationships that don’t struggle well are the ones that end.

Thank you for allowing us to witness what 36 years of struggling well looks like, Mom and Dad. Thank you for pressing in when the pain begged you to pull back. The beauty in your love and growth in your character has shaped my future forever. Happy Anniversary, Ma and Pa.

The Power of Honesty

friendship, trust, vulnerability, joy, laughter, trishakeehn.comThese seasons are shorter looking back from the other side. Don’t let these moments slip away.

Stretch out the sentences with your honesty; it’s a treasure that loses power the longer we wait. Even the tears unlock a vault of vulnerability that acts more like gravity between two hearts.

Unbridle the laughter when life brings you immense joy.

This place of surrender and trust is the shortest path between two people. This is how we love.

How to get through the holidays

We’re still a couple days away from Christmas and I have yet to board a plane to be with family, yet somehow we’ve already found the short fuses and tension stretching patience with each other.

Can you relate?

forgiveness, love, love because that's who you areThe problems may have nothing to do with you except that you’re within proximity of the resentful responses and it’s pulling on your patience to stay present with people like this.

I’m paddling in this boat with you, my friend.

The enemy just needs to get us wrapped up in anger and bitterness to steal the show from what this holiday is all about. He wants you to be a bitter soul behind a beautiful face, crippled by the offenses this Christmas.

Maybe you’re coming to the table feeling resentment because your family could never completely understand how your own rejections feel. Yours are seemingly impossible to forgive.

Unforgiveness is the devil’s design to keep you bruised and bleeding and long-term angry. He can use even the lightest offense to do it. You’re not the victim of offense. You’ve been targeted by the devil with anger and he’s been strategizing how to suck all the power out of your life.

Forgive. Because what you have now is not freedom but bitterness. Your forgiveness doesn’t benefit the other person… it’s for you to feel whole and complete. Genuine freedom is waiting for you on the other side of forgiveness. Release your friends, your family… and the ticket agent juggling ten jobs to get you home for Christmas.

My prayer is for God to pull out all the stops and give you the strength to release others from what they owe you. May the Lord shift your thinking from the same old broken roads to a path of peace with each other and focus on the purpose of coming together. ‪#‎fervent‬

Don’t let the people you love determine how you’re going to love.

The Gift You Long For

Everything seems urgent at this time of year and expectations tell us all the going and doing is very important.

The calendar controls our time but we’re so overwhelmed to even realize this pressure is the pulse driving whether we keep up or stay ahead. ‘Rush’ repurposes peace into a chaotic Christmas story we tell around the tree through short tempers and careless thinking.

It’s a time to celebrate, but walking into a worship service even reminds me of work; people I haven’t had a breath to get back to. It’s been so long since our schedules have seen some blank spaces that plotting out this dreamy word peace feels like a burden.

We’re being robbed, my friend. The onslought of life’s pressures have started to dominate and define us.

Some of it isn’t even bad. We might be wrapped up in so many seemingly good things, like our jobs, the church, charities yet at the end of the day we still don’t have our peace and quiet.

It feels like we’re slaves here.

Enter Exodus. The second book in the bible. The Israelites were bossed around by taskmasters all day and night. They were slaves to the demands and saying ‘no’ wasn’t an option.

It’s as if this ancient, living Word just ripped a page out of my daily planner and planted the story near the beginning of the book because the Author knew someone who needed this kind of message didn’t have much time to dig any deeper… should even an hour in the day open up to get this far.

Back to the book, even though God sends Moses to free these people from the physical demands, their minds were stuck in a slave mentality. The Israelites didn’t know what it looked like to stop or pause from work.

slaves to schedules, slaves aren't in charge, slaves have no control, the clock controls slaves, work controls slaves, trishakeehn.comGod has sent a way to relieve us from the tension. We’re just not choosing it. If there’s a cancellation on our calendar, it becomes open season.

The thought of deliberately choosing rest around this time of year feels almost unthinkable – family is flying in or you’re flying out, kids have written out their wish lists, parties are being planned and friends are expecting you to be there – because it all lands on people who still think the way a slave thinks.

The enemy will tell you that sketching out even a half inch margin around this to-do list is impossible. When you decide to permanently mark peace into your plans, the enemy will use friends and family to jab at your choice, compare their life with yours and say that you’re selfish with your time.

Since when did other people determine your worth? Busyness has never been declared a badge of honor in the realms of what matters most. Working more will never earn you favor in the eyes of what’s really important.

So why is it so difficult to press pause on the pressure? Mostly because you’ve been bullied into thinking it’s up to you to protect your reputation. You’ve become motivated by the fear of failure so insecurity has you pushing harder to achieve ‘big’ things and impress other people.

You could be intimidated by the quiet places because it feels less important there, so you pick up the torch of self-reliance to accomplish something. May I suggest it could have something to do with your kids and being obedient to their beck and call?

Slaves don’t control the clock; the work controls them.freedom, standing firm, yoke of slavery, Galatians 5:1, slavery, trishakeehn.com

If your devoted time with God has been replaced over a period of time, you’ve diminished power in the present because you lost your allegiance to the one thing that’s most important.

Our culture continues to spin this merry-go-round of achievement, production, and results faster and faster, but the answer isn’t to keep up. No, the solution is to step off.

It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

The fear of what others will say or think about your ‘no’ is straight up from the enemy.

If you aren’t claiming your time, someone else will. There is a serious battle for your contentment, your peace, your rest, your health, even your ability to worship attentively. The enemy will use whatever leverage he can get a grasp on take away your freedom and satisfaction in Christ, your trust in God and your availability to move at the invitation of our Author’s perfectly timed will.

We are not here to be slaves to schedules. You don’t need to keep hustling. You’ve already received approval from the only One whose approval really matters. His value IS your value.

your values, who you are, God wants good things for you, trishakeehn.comGod doesn’t want something from you. He wants something for you. Your value is not in what you do but in who you are.

You deserve to live at your best in every area of life so start with focusing prayers on getting free from the pressure.

God will send the Spirit’s power to help you gain control of your day by creating quiet corners that anchor the intersection of chaos and God’s best.

Declare some boundaries based on your devotion to this place of peace and know that everything else will ultimately benefit by your clearer focus.

Surrendering your schedule to rest cultivates a calm spirit so that your words spring from a well filled with joy and love. Your walk will be guided by patience with people, instead strain and stress. Your body will wake up renewed and ready to start again tomorrow.

In your effort to practice more peace this year, you may not have presents for everyone under the tree. More mail may come in than cards going out. Friends might have to wait until January to see you again.

Sometimes it’s not what you carry in your hands that will have impact with people. It might be what’s in your heart that leaves an impression.

As I type out these final thoughts, the hair stylist is wrapping my hair up in foils because these are the very few silent moments I have left to write. I’ve struggled with being stretched during this season. My faithfulness to rest has been less than honorable.

My hope is to find this place of peace so that I may be fully present with loved ones in the following days. My prayer is to leave the season feeling more satisfied than any pretty paper or package could ever offer.

Gratitude Gives More

grace, gratitude, love, live a life full of gratitudePeople who value what they have, get twice as much out of something than a person who lacks gratitude.

They get more out of a job, a marriage, and family. This soul multiplies in the chaos and in the silence.

‘Luck’ doesn’t set them up or put them down. No drought can dry up the hope here. It’s thankfulness you can see with your eyes, not just the words you may hear.

Consistency isn’t a Moment

love, consistency, potential, John MaxwellIt’s important to love where you are in life today. If you can’t find joy and peace where you are, you won’t find it where you’re going. It’s a heart issue, between you and God. Make peace with your situation. Happiness is based on your happenings, but joy roots itself deep in the soul and doesn’t waver with your circumstance.

If you won’t give three people 100% of your efforts today, you won’t give 3,000 that commitment either. It’s an attitude. Don’t settle on just winging it through life… work for it! You have the potential for more. Don’t wait for an opportunity, make it the right opportunity now.

“Consistency will give you a compounding that no other trait will.” – John Maxwell. When you deliver every day and consistently add value to people there comes a time of return to it. It’s not in a moment, it is progressive. So practice being consistent where you’re at, with the people right in front of you.

Ideas for consistency could be showing your appreciation for loved ones, greeting your job with enthusiasm and giving your best effort, making it to the gym because that’s how you love your body, choosing wise people to surround yourself with, or choosing even wiser places to hang out in.

Take my hand, let’s love this place where we are and give it our best. Today, could be our day of deliverance. I’m ready for it, are you?

How to Make a Decision

decisions, faith, God's strength, trishakeehn.com

One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder. The next time you have a choice to make, ask yourself:

  • Which direction will build character and qualities in me that I need?
  • Where do I need to lean on God for the strength and less on my ability?
  • What brings peace and requires love?

Be careful not to let your emotions dictate the direction. Pray for God’s peace to lead you in the journey that is best the life He intended you to live.

Love is the Natural Cure

natural, antibiotic, cure, love, trishakeehn.com

Hug someone today. Hold a hand and let them know they are loved. This is God’s cure for a sick heart. I love you. I’m thinking of you. Release your affections. It has an antibiotic effect on the infection of negativity and the poisonous thoughts that prevent a mind from living in pure joy. Take the time to have a heart-to-heart exchange. Your own soul will be thankful for it later.

##

Want to wake up to more thoughts like these in your email? Join the family! Sign up by subscribing on the homepage. Just share your email address and look for me in your inbox.

Know someone who would benefit from this message? Share it through social media or use the link to send it straight to their email.