This morning my family has received grave news about the condition of a dear cousin of mine. Almost a week ago he was in a traumatic motorcycle accident-no helmet. At the scene, paramedics reported posturing which is an indicator of severe brain stem trauma. At the hospital, he was put into a sedated coma as the brain continued to swell. My mama called to tell me the news and all I could do was run home and fall to my face in prayer and tears, petitioning for God’s grace on my cousin’s life. Hours flew by, the night folded, I fasted and faded in and out of praise, prayer, petitions, tears, joy and peace until the following afternoon.

I’ve reached out to every large prayer ministry I can find and shared my cousin’s story. I just believe these petitions in prayer will pull at the heart of God.

A couple days ago, the doctor’s lifted the sedation to wake my cousin up. But this morning, after no sign of life in his body, the neurosurgeon has said my cousin is ‘gone’ and the brain stem is beyond repair. I just want to collapse in a pool of tears as my heart hurts for the sweet times we had even within this last year. God used my cousin Jesse in such a special way at Christmas time, to encourage my aching heart. This cannot be the end.

In the guest room of my house, I play a Christian radio station 24/7. As I sat on the floor wondering what to do next, I heard the station running a donation drive and felt compelled to ‘make life’ in the face of death. So I picked up the phone and asked to make a donation in honor of my cousin–not memory. I told them I wanted to help give life to others who find encouragement and a life with Christ through positive Christian radio, and that even in the wake of those words of death concerning my cousin, I just proclaim life in the name of Jesus through this experience.

As my family is now in the process of making a decision to remove my dear cousin Jesse from ventilator support, I am preparing to fly home to be with them in this difficult time. My heart can’t get there fast enough as one by one I hear their tears of grief over the phone. My heart too breaks so deeply. It’s a very lonely place to be when you’re hundreds of miles away from family during a tragedy. I am in tears but I hold onto to God so tightly. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but I believe in the healing power of Christ… still.