I am staring down this piece of fruit sitting on my desk. I packed it for a nutritious snack later. I’m thinking about the juiciness of this pear and how tasty it would be on my tongue. You will not surely die from a bite, I thought.

But I’ve decided to move the fruit out of eyesight as I’m praying for the peace of Christ to reign supreme over my heart. I’m proclaiming the power that is in Him to be stronger than any desire in me for ‘more’. My hunger for Jesus is bigger than my hunger for the things in this world.

You may be asking, ‘what’s the big deal? It’s just a piece of fruit. Why take such a spiritual stand against something so seemingly harmless?’

I struggle with anxiety. For more than a decade I took anti-depressants, but have been off medications for more than two years now. With that choice has come increasing anxiety. New prescriptions for another health concern perpetuate the panic and add to my angst. When my blood boils, I band-aid the burden by biting into food to release the tension. Then I workout like a body builder to burn the calories I consume. It’s a vicious cycle.

Emotional eating is a shortcut solution the enemy uses to soothe pain on the surface of my underlying issues. When concerns turn into conundrums and consume my thoughts, I mindlessly eat to pacify the problem. I even started drinking decaf coffee. What is even the point of that? But I deducted tranquility is more important to my troubling heart than the jolt of caffeine revving up my metabolism. Stopping coffee altogether is not an option, are you crazy?!

So this brings me back to my stand against Satan, and that succulent piece of fruit (that was) sitting on my desk. The plague won’t let up, but maybe it’s because I just won’t let some things go! I’m aware of his sneaky way to steal the self control God is strengthening me with. I can hear the enemy saying, ‘you will not surely die’.

I remember the last time he tried this trick with an apple on Eve. We all know how that turned out. Wisdom tells me he’s right, I won’t die, but a fragment of my faith will. As silly as it sounds, to someone with anxiety this is where I either choose self control and trusting God to fill my need for more or give in to the fruit, and then the granola bar, bag of almonds, and that small cup of applesauce. This is after I have already consumed a big breakfast. What my heart is hungry for is something food can’t fix.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

With food out of sight, I’m taking a 15-minute break to walk, as I pray for God to show me how to handle the turmoil, instead of eating my way through it.

My God, I ask for your peace and comfort over the storm swirling in my mind. I’m casting all my cares on You. Take this heavy yoke from my head. I know You have a good plan for me and will show yourself strong in this! You are working behind the scenes on my behalf!

The lilies of the field and the birds of the air are cards for, how much more will my heavenly Father take care of me? I’m choosing to trust that You will take care of me. I refuse to dwell on these problems and won’t allow them to steal my peace and joy today. I bless and magnify You alone, Lord. I am meditating on your Word and confess Your promises over my life! May I experience Your peace and joy and blessing in all the days of my life! Amen!