Tag Archives: burden

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Backpacking My Burden

I’ve been home for a week from my Italy excursion during the month of May. My brain has since been ruminating about the journey and I have found more reflections than I have time to write about. Even as I type, I am juggling several tasks between typing the title and actually transcribing my thoughts in this post.Several friends have asked, so here’s a quick take:

Favorite parts: I loved Florence the most. It had charm, rich history, a kaleidoscope of colors, rolling landscapes, a vibrant culture, and a taste of everything that makes Italy so appealing (my opinion). But really, I enjoyed each area for different reasons. Tuscany was simply stunning during every hour of the day. Cinque Terre and the Amalfi Coast were lined with trails that weaved along the water.

As a ‘foodie’, I plotted my pilgrimage according to every ‘must try’ by the culinary circles. I’m not even going to start on all the pasta, pizza, pastries and gelato or we’ll be here forever. Italy has cultivated the fine art of anything that comes in a cup. Simply put, the country is king of the kitchen!

So the worst part? Moving around so often. Before I left the states, I planned my priorities like most people; ‘I need to see it all’. As soon as my feet hit foreign ground, I realized it was goinBackpackingg to be a lot more work and less of a vacation. I left my suitcase at home and opted for a backpack to prevent being preyed upon by pick-pocketers. This would have been a wise idea if I hadn’t packed 25 pounds worth of “necessities”.

It seemed like I barely had time to get acquainted with the street grid of a new city before I was packing up and catching the next train out. With each stop, my bag became harder to zip up, which meant heavier to hold. I quickly realized how I underestimated the burden of lugging dead weight on my back in and out of trains and bus stops.

Then it hit me. This is what I do in my personal journey through life. I try to pack in as many activities or friends in a short amount of time so that I can ‘do it all’. In the end, I wind up stressing over all the busyiness instead of being grateful for these moments. I want to absorb the leisure of one or two places and enjoy the depth of relationships with a few people instead of living with regret that I only brushed the surface of it all.

So my recommendations. Don’t go alone. There’s too much beauty to see and share with someone and two pairs of eyes are better than one when you’re navigating from the ground in a new city. Second tip. Tell yourself you CAN come back. That you don’t have to be everywhere and do everything. And in the end, your trip will feel more fulfilling with fewer stops. Lastly. Remember, there are no calories in anything when you’re on vacation, so enjoy it all. Just make sure to get to the gym when you get home 🙂

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Accepting Imperfection

For years I’ve struggled with perfectionism, and unfortunately that prevents some things from actually being “complete(d)”.

My desire for perfection is not wrong. We were made for it! Perfect bodies, perfect relationships, perfect minds… It’s like something deep inside me keeps trying to find the perfection my soul looks for.

It’s not wrong to long for it; just wrong to expect it on earth. It can’t be found here. There is truly something wrong with everything!

One day perfection will come again (AMEN!).

Until then, I’ve since fired my inner critic and am trying to accept the earthly imperfections; which takes the burden off me. I am accepting who I am instead of who I wish I was, while accepting others as they are and the world as it is, instead of striving to put a stamp of perfection on them. Much joy and freedom has been found in my heart as the chains of perfection have been released.

God, you see the deepest parts of my heart; how I’ve allowed perfectionism to penetrate into my work and relationships and crowd out my joy. Cleanse my mind, sanctify my soul… May I instead become a girl of grace, a woman who reflects your joy for others to see. I can’t do it on my own. God, go deep inside me and do your work. May my heart find contentment in this acceptance, looking only to you as the Perfect One, my Father, Author and Creator. Craft on me a renewed sense of joy! In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.

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Break Off From The Burdens

I just started a new job and no sooner had my foot touched down in the office, I was piling on a to-do list and creating demands in my schedule. No one was asking for it; it was a voluntary reaction. Only by the grace of God, He revealed a truth to me before I repeated a mistake I’ve made in so many positions prior.

I think we can get comfortable with bearing burdens after awhile and even learn to like it. We carry a heavy weight of demands on our shoulders for so long that when it’s lifted, we get the sense that something is missing. There’s this inner dialogue that says ‘if I’m not weary, I must not be working hard or doing enough’. The ‘lightness’ in our labor or load makes us feel more like we’re lost. Our tendency then is to create or take on burdens so that we feel comfortable again with the choking weightiness of a yoke that infringes on this freedom.

The devil shouts with accusations, fabricating fear by calling freedom a ‘sluggard’ or ‘lazy’. But God’s word calls it something else: “Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear?” (Acts 15:10) Throughout scripture, putting on a yoke is used to punish a person and enslave lives, even if we’re doing it to ourselves.

God’s desire is repeated throughout the book “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30) He’s a God who gives us rest in our work. God doesn’t desire demands on our life, but a weightlessness, a buoyancy and freedom to enjoy the days He delivers. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1) Slavery to sin, slavery to undo demands and slavery to any other God, even the ‘God of work’.

At one time I associated ‘demands and creating work’ with ‘success, growth and getting ahead’ but now I see it was only keeping me from experiencing a fuller freedom and joy in Christ. What a lovely concept when my heart is light, there’s room for relationships. When my life is free, I have margin and peace to embrace the big and small ‘interruptions’. So while I may not be seeking out more pressure in my day, truth is, my heart is free enough to perform better with what God gives me.

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The Sting and The Salt

There are times when the things of the past, our former ways, come to the surface of our ’new being created in the likeness of Christ’. And in repentance of this old nature, we feel the pain and sorrow grieving God for the choice we made. 1 Corinthians tells us sin/death will ’sting’.

Today, God’s living word began to stir in my heart, revealing attitudes and ways of a former self in need deliverance. I crawled to my knees in abandonment as His mighty hand held my heart. A Godly sorrow poured out the pain in many heavy tears as I renounced this ’old’ self. And as each teardrop fell, I felt a literal sting slide down my face containing carried pain and burdens I’ve been harboring. One after another, my sorrows streamed across my cheeks like the sting of salt on a wound.

Two days ago, I received a medical chemical peel on my face. The old calloused and conditioned skin is now dead and has mostly peeled off, revealing a newer, fresh, more pure and sensitive face. I heard God say this: “Those tears represent each burden and pain of an old nature. The sting of those sins are felt only to the new creation I have revealed.”

You see, a man stuck in his ways cannot feel the sting of death carried in his sin; he is conditioned and calloused to its ’pain’-just as the outer layer of my face had become conditioned for those salty tears. But when a new creation is revealed, the ’sting’ of an old nature can truly be felt.

“The newness” of Christ has covered me. God didn’t create us for the sting of death/sin. When we are renewed in Him and “put off the ways of our former self”, we become more sensitive to the ’sting’.

For me, I am reminded of this: In each of those tears I shed, there were burdens… and there was the salt. Jesus IS the Salt. And this much i know, though it stings in the moment, Salt heals like no other! Amen!