It’s only a few days now, and no, I’m still not ready for the ever-important appointments that have been set with some of the largest publishers around the country. My perfectionist, people pleasing personality is not happy about it one bit.

It’s saying, ‘try harder. You still have time. Don’t you dare go there un-prepared. Don’t let these people down by wasting time at the table with one sheet. Your future is hinging upon this.’

I stressed over the content. I strained my eyes at the screen. Then I got on my knees in surrender. ‘I can’t do it, Lord. I don’t know what to write and I can’t create something out of nothing. I give up. I’m not staring at the keys and a blank screen any longer until you tell me what to write.’

My body collapsed from the physical exertion and pressure I put on myself. I let out groans and sobs only the Spirit could understand. And then I began to praise.

Some minutes later, in state of mental exhaustion, I found myself staring at the ceiling in awe of a wonderful God, who created the heavens and earth and all things in it, and then stitched me.

Your plans have become your priority, but what about my people?

My ears perked up, ‘Oh God. I pushed people out and prioritized my plan for these appointments because I thought you opened this door for me?’

I did. And I can close it too. Desire me, seek me, pursue me and I will give you the desires of your heart. I will open doors no man can open. Trust me.

‘I understand. I’m sorry God for making this about me and my wisdom. So now what?’ I asked.

Make the chapters about (Beeeeeeeep. I can’t tell you this or it will ruin the element of surprise when the book is released ;-)). But let’s just say it is brilliant! What else would you expect from the greatest Author ever?

So I wrote down what He said and I let out a sigh of relief from pressure to perform.

There will be no book proposal to hand publishers. And to be honest, I’m not scared. I have seen God create pathways in my life where man has said there is no way. I am confident His work will be done here.

What I did do though is spend the next few days sharing moments over meals, movies and music with friends from all walks in my life.

I made people my priority over plans.

Ps. Last night, I fired up the oven and whipped up a batch of muffins for a friend in celebration of this new-found freedom.

If the stale, all-purpose baking mix was any indication of the last time I had stepped behind a stove in the name of service, good Lord! I suppose I made up for this shameful admittance by the number of ingredients I included in those gluten free, raspberry, lemon, poppy seed muffins. I only required my friend to try one, so she could taste the intent of my heart that had been resurrected in the name of love for people over my plans.

Just in case you’re wondering… I whipped up a batch of flourless oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies for her family instead. I couldn’t leave our story on stale muffins. 😉