Last night I was going through my devotional and the scripture to study was Psalm 40. So I opened my bible and found this: “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God…”

As I read that, the answer dawned on me. Sometimes God’s will is to be still and wait patiently. In the waiting, we are called to love those around us, continue to share our faith and serve others. And that ‘sometimes’, I believe, is me right now.

Alright Lord… you win. You always do.

Stuck in the mud. That’s how I feel sometimes when I don’t feel like ‘things’ are happening. A constant, contentment. It makes me feel like I’m planted. Ack. For a while, I had adopted a new attitude in my present situation and was enjoying the state of pleasantville; however, sitting still was difficult. I found myself wishing for a mud pie movement. And then the bomb hit. My husband lost his job. While I never intended for my husband to lose his job, it instills hope in me that this could be our opportunity out. All of a sudden, the skies opened up and it seemed the wiggle room was endless… unless, there’s nowhere to go.

And that’s where we’ve found ourselves. With all the daydreamed possibilities, it seems for now that’s all they will remain. In this, I am reminded that God can give us the desires of our heart, but if its not in his timing, all other possibilities will remain unlined.

So, is this merely a daydreamed opportunity or the one written in God’s Will that will finally create movement in our mud pie?

A couple days ago I decided I would cop a new attitude while being where God has put me. Since then, I’ve been spending my lunchtime having a picnic everyday under the shade of a big tree and after work I take a nice long walk or run under the sun! It’s fantastic! I’m calling it my ‘prayer walk’. It’s where I meet with God and walk and talk one on one. And I love it! The feeling of freshness and relief to get all my thoughts out. Then I head to the gym and pump iron to get every last bit of the bitterness out of me. It feels good to enjoy life:)

Another year is almost over for me here in Florida. I’ve now been a Floridian for nearly 4 years! That’s crazy! And since I’ve been here, I haven’t really accepted the fact that I am a resident of this state. I guess growing up in the Midwest for 23 years will do that to you. My heart has been in a place of unrest being thousands of miles from my family. And while the freezing temps aren’t exactly luring me back, the sweltering humidity continues to push me in that direction. I’ve concluded meeting in the middle would be the best… have my cake and eat it too:)

However, with all that said, God doesn’t seem to have opened the doors for a move. So now what? I guess I’m stuck evaluating what it is he wants me to see by being here. hmmm…

Well, I know since I’ve been here I haven’t fully enjoyed the gift of year-round sunshine God has provided. Most of my time here has been spent scoffing at the heat index… the headaches, the frizzy hair, the heat rash, the sunburn… So I guess that means my attitude hasn’t exactly been ‘serving the best’ for me, for others, or for God… alright:(

I do know God is not going to move me from where I’m at until I finish the work he has in store for me. So I’ve got to take this a step further. As I dig deep inside me, I see I struggle with a very stubborn attitude. I don’t gravitate towards a change of heart. Before moving to the Sunshine State, I already decided I wasn’t going to like it. There’s a stigma about Floridians… they’re lazy and nudes and high rollers. My family was against the move, so this fed my frustration with Florida before I stepped foot in its territory.

But God called me here… that’s what I kept saying. So why? After a few years of living in ‘paradise’, I feel like the kid kicking and screaming out of a candy store. God can move me, but I don’t have to like it! What in the world am I doing? I feel embarassed at the immaturity! I know in my head that God is going to stick his ground until my heart moves from where I’ve been to where he wants it to be… so why do I challenge His decision to put me here?

Well, the solution can easily be summed up in words… I’ve got to change my heart! Enjoy the goodness he’s given me, live up the bright side of things. We’ll see how long it takes for my head to get my heart on the same page.

Isn’t it interesting the number of people out there who have the potential for great things and yet sit on their talents waiting for someone else to make something of this. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson. I guess that’s the real issue here.

It’s no big secret that lighting is everything. It sets the mood for any occasion and can make or break a photographer. I am a strong advocate against flourescent bulbs. That kind of light is a menace to mankind and leaves a person with bleeding eyes and ears. The intensity of the sun’s radiance does the same. I’m also against 90000 watt bulbs that are just plain ridiculous for household use! It’s actually quite amazing the things we can see when the lights are off. How did someone convince us we needed 25000 watt bulbs in every room?! My favorite lights are the chestnut shades. I’ve got the brown hue bulbs strategically placed throughout the house as an invitation for my eyes. The color softens the room and gives a glow that seems heavenly. Everyone looks good with a tan and every room poses a warm comfort. When I feel the need for a change of scenery in the house, instead of rearranging the furniture or buying more things to clutter up the space, I simply change the lightbulb and it completely transforms the room and my perception of the area. It’s funny the way things can change when the light bulb goes on!