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Mirroring God

The greatest characteristic a Christian can exhibit is this completely unveiled openness before God, which allows that person’s life to become a mirror for others. When the Spirit fills us, we are transformed, and by beholding God we become mirrors. You can always tell when someone has been beholding the glory of the Lord, because your inner spirit senses that he mirrors the Lord’s own character. Beware of anything that would spot or tarnish that mirror in you. It is almost always something good that will stain it—something good, but not what is best.

The most important rule for us is to concentrate on keeping our lives open to God. Let everything else including work, clothes, and food be set aside. The busyness of things obscures our concentration on God. We must maintain a position of beholding Him, keeping our lives completely spiritual through and through. Let other things come and go as they will; let other people criticize us as they will; but never allow anything to obscure the life that “is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him. This is an easy thing to allow, but we must guard against it. The most difficult lesson of the Christian life is learning how to continue “beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord . . . .”

O Lord, I look to you so utterly that I am worse than useless without You. Be made wisdom and discernment and understanding unto me today.

My Utmost For His Highest -Oswald Chambers

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The Excellence of Daniel

ImageHappy New Year! As the calendar flips over, there’s a deep desire for us all to start fresh into a new season of life. We can make lots of resolutions for the coming days, but if our deeper spirit isn’t ‘right’, healthier choices won’t make a difference after long. We’ll slide back into our old habits and find ourselves on that dusty old road of last year. I learned several years ago, the best thing I can do is set aside my agenda and seek God through the fast Daniel used during his time of mourning and needing direction. Each year, I’ve come out spiritually rich with wisdom and insight for the days ahead. The cleansing of my mind and heart is incomparable to any retreat or sum of Sundays.

If you’re seeking God’s direction for your life in the new year, consider Daniel- a man described in the Bible as having an ‘excellent spirit.’ He lived to glorify God with his life, no matter what it cost him. Daniel loved God and was unwavering in his commitment to serve Him. As a result, God gave him favor with king Nebuchadnezzar, which led to his promotion over the leaders in the land. But his commitment to God was tested as the others didn’t like that the king favored Daniel. So they manipulated the king to sign a decree that prohibited anyone from praying to any god other than the king for 30 days. Violating the decree meant being thrown into a den of lions. Daniel didn’t cave in to this decree, he was more concerned about keeping his commitment to God. In the end, God protected him and was glorified through it.

I want to encourage you to live with that same excellent spirit. Be determined to really live for God. As you do, you’ll fulfill your true purpose and glorify God in everything you do, just like Daniel. If you’ve never tried the Daniel fast, I would encourage you to in order to receive wisdom and the most incredible beginning to your new year as well. The fast consists of fruits, vegetables, and legumes (beans and nuts), and of course lots of water. Scripture identifies it as ‘anything sown by the seed’, which includes rice and Ezekiel bread amongst others. To prevent my heart from tainting the spiritual purpose with a weight loss program, I eat plenty of nuts, which are high in healthy fats. You may already eat pretty healthy and thus find this kind of ‘diet’ normal. If that’s the case, I would urge you to identify something to sacrifice to fulfill the purpose of this fast. I’m choosing to abstain from rice, Ezekiel bread and black coffee. There is a perceived power our physical hunger has over us, so the sacrifice is important!

I can say in my life that, by far, the most satisfying things that have happened to me are during these moments of fasting when I sensed I had done as the Lord wanted me to do. When I attempt to satisfy self apart from doing the will of God, initially it feels good, but inevitably is a frustrating, empty and discouraging thing. Be careful during this time not to compromise your surroundings. Fasting makes us more vulnerable in situations to sin, as the devil is bringing everything he has to cause us to stray. This is a time to increase your worship and prayer as your mind and heart will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. When you’re tempted to fall, put your mind on this truth: fasting is not about what you’re giving up, but what you are gaining.

There is a sense that physically satisfying myself in some way keeps me from needing to find satisfaction in God. So we’re left with this question: Am I satisfying myself with that which is not bread and that which is not meat, as well as other things that really don’t fill my soul? Is anything hindering my hunger for God? Is it money? Opportunities? Work? Friendships? Identifying those hindrances is the purpose of fasting. We have to recognize our enslavement to food, or anything that deadens our hunger for God.

1 Peter 2:11 “Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.” When we fast, enslavement to things of the flesh is broken and we are freed to focus our hunger upon what we really need. Fasting reveals the things that control us. It humbles us and shows us our true selves.

Father, help me to fast, and use it to show me the things I am unaware of that control me. I want all of my hunger to be focused on You and satisfied only by You. Lord, instill an ‘excellent spirit’ in me, so that I may serve You unwaveringly in all that I do. Remove the scales from my eyes, open the channels in my ears, grant me direction for this life I give to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Vision and Darkness

Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in “the shadow of His hand” (Isaiah 49:2). The saint’s duty is to be still and listen. There is a “darkness” that comes from too much light—that is the time to listen. The story of Abram and Hagar in Genesis 16 is an excellent example of listening to so-called good advice during a time of darkness, rather than waiting for God to send the light. When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word. Abram went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all of his self-sufficiency was destroyed. He grew past the point of relying on his own common sense. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not a period of God’s displeasure. There is never any need to pretend that your life is filled with joy and confidence; just wait upon God and be grounded in Him (Isaiah 50:10–11).

Do I trust at all in the flesh? Or have I learned to go beyond all confidence in myself and other people of God? Do I trust in books and prayers or other joys in my life? Or have I placed my confidence in God Himself, not in His blessings? “I am Almighty God . . .” —El-Shaddai, the All-Powerful God (Genesis 17:1). The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us, people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever upset the one who is built on God.

O Lord, with much dimness I draw near to You. Clear the dimness away from me and flood me with the light of Your presence.

Excerpt from ‘My Utmost For His Highest’ by Oswald Chambers

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An Angel I Have Heard On High

Last night I attended a benefit concert to help raise money for affordable music education for children in poverty. I had been feeling a bit down about the Christmas season; there were just some heavy things on my heart. So when a girlfriend asked for a little ‘QT’ at the concert, my spirit lifted a bit to feel loved. As I was parking my car, I noticed an older woman driving around. She stopped and asked if she could park next to me. “Sure!” I told her. She seemed uneasy so I waited for her so we could walk in together. She told me this was her first time at the venue and really her first time being out after dark. As we walked down the street together, we exchanged names and I asked her what prompted the sudden decision to come out. She said she heard on a Christian radio station that a certain artist was going to be performing and she supported his ministry work for the homeless. She thought it would be nice to support his music.

As we neared the door, she talked about not having much money, which is why she didn’t ‘valet’ her vehicle. In that moment, I felt led to pay her cover charge to get into the concert, and I wish my heart could be content that I did but we got caught in the shuffle and I lost her at the door. My heart was let down a bit. But when I got inside, I caught up with her at a table and sat down to talk as I waited on my friends. The elderly woman, Marlene, mentioned this was her first time in 3 years that she’s gotten out of the house to do ‘something’ since her husband passed. At 72, she said the first two years without him weren’t as bad as the loneliness she feels this year. It’s as if it’s all caught up to her in the last few months that he’s really gone. In that moment, I felt God’s Spirit reminding me that we are called to ‘take care of the widows and orphans’. I extended Marlene an invitation to a table with a few of my friends and offered to walk her to her car at the end of the show. But sometime during the last show, she disappeared. I searched everywhere for her… asking the woman at the door, people who were standing next to me ‘have you seen this woman?’ They all looked at me with a blank stare and asked ‘what woman’? Numerous people tried to describe other older women they had seen, but no one, not even the valet guarding the door, saw this woman come in or leave.

As I got to my car, I noticed Marlene’s was gone. I thought, maybe I could try to find this woman and be her friend and take her to lunch or dinner once a week. But the Spirit of God consumed me; this was an angel. And a message followed. Hearts get broken, the details in this life can consume us and Christmastime can become a chaotic circle of to-do’s to get caught up in. But that’s not why a Savior was sent to this earth. This is what life is about.  

Unfortunately, the world doesn’t have to work hard to distract us from that focus. This morning I awoke and a sadness flooded my heart. I reflected on this angel’s visit from last night and it was a comfort to my spirit. At this time of year, more than any other I believe, it is important not to become so inward focused on cares and concerns that we miss our ultimate calling in life.

Love one another like Christ loved the church, with a complete, crazy abandonment to this world. And be sure to take care of the widows and orphans left behind.

James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

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How To Hear From God

I’ve had several encounters with the Almighty that left no doubt this was the divine speaking into my life. And I get asked from time to time how someone can hear from God and more importantly, know that it’s God. I understand everyone’s journey is different and God uses different vehicles to convey messages to each unique being He created. But there are some fundamental truths behind getting to a place where you can hear Him and knowing without a doubt it is the Great I Am. Sometimes there are pressing concerns that we need the Holy Spirit to speak up, and guide us through the shadows. I hope I can help you in that walk of seeking and knowing His voice.

First, there is some mighty power in fasting. Distractions are plentiful and it’s the devil’s tool to lead you away from the straight and narrow path. In the stillness of your fasting, you’ll be able to hear how loud these distractions really are. The enemy sees the threat in your focused time with Christ and will stop at nothing to steal that from you. Be very careful during this time, as fasting also has the potential to ‘weaken’ you. We end up battling the world, the devil and our own personal lust during a fast. But your prayer and focus on Christ in fasting can silence the devil, so your ears can hear the whispers of the Spirit speaking. There’s a saying ‘Satan shouts at us all day long, but our Father whispers softly and if you’re not close enough to Him, you’ll miss that sweet sound’.

That brings me to the second part of how to hear from God; you’ve got to get close! When you draw close to Him with complete abandonment, throwing off the things that hinder your time and desire for the Father, you will hear Him. This could be relationships, as demonstrated by Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 6), alone, to fast for 40 days. God has, is and will always be there. There are times God goes quiet with us, and there are several reasons outside of sin that He may choose to do this, but the point is, our Father is there! We have hundreds of years of biblical truth that testifies that God does not leave us, ever. If you’re chasing Him down in pure pursuit, I believe with all my heart that our loving Father is not going to hide His face from a child in need.

So how will you know the voice of God? As you draw near to God, there’s a general voice that the natural ear hears, the kind that your conscience relies on to discern right from wrong. But in time, when you’re committed to a walk that not only honors, but is in a full-fledged pursuit of the Father, you’ll discover the spiritual ear that hears very specific directions. Many times, they are directions you could not have known of, an example is “pick up three meals and drive down West End. There will be three men who need food. One is wearing brown boots.” God really said that to me.

Another way to know the voice of God is by spending intimate time on your knees getting to know Him. I don’t want to tell you how much time, but I will share that time flies in the stillness of His presence. It’s a very sweet moment, full of comfort and peace. In this place your mind will be captured by nothing but His love, your heart ravaged by His mighty presence. You’ll be able to feel His physical presence over and through you. It’s a place you won’t want to leave.

There are other ways God speaks to us; through unlikely people, the Word, preaching, and the Spirit. But one thing I promise is that whatever God speaks to you will be consistent with His revealed will-the Bible. As you begin to know the scriptures and put his revealed will first in your life, His voice will become more prominent during everyday life and not just in the distress or desperation.

Note: It’s important to fast and seek God with righteous motives, as Jesus warns us in Matthew there will be no reward for those who fast with evil or wrong intentions (ie: for money, power, weight loss).

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There Is Life Beyond The Cross

Many of us start our day at the cross and never actually leave the foot of it, but I’m here to share hope that there is life beyond the cross that promises freedom!

Does this story sound familiar? We come to the cross and surrender our burdens, asking God to free us from the bondage that slaves us to a behavior, lifestyle or sin that we’re not particularly proud of. We pick ourselves up, dust off the remnants on our knees and move forward trying to get over the past. But we never actually get beyond the cross to experience His power in our life. Before the sun can rise, we find ourselves answering ‘yes please’ to the same decisions, inviting strongholds to tighten a grip on our lives.

The power of Christ is found when we receive His love and discover the freedom, confidence and liberty to say ‘no more’.  There are a couple stories in the book of John that illustrate this when Jesus tells two sinners “go and sin no more”. Some may ask, well how can Jesus say that when he knows we are not perfect and will sin; Romans 3:23 reminds us “for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God? And unfortunately, there are those who are quick to remind themselves and others “we’re all sinners” to excuse a lifestyle they’ve been leading. Sadly, it’s these folks who have given themselves an identity as a ‘sinner’ instead of a ‘conqueror through Christ’. And that’s what I mean about moving beyond the cross and living to the full potential Christ came to give us!

Many times, we want to stop at the cross, equipped with theology that Christ came so I’m forgiven and can move on. HOWEVER, we forget that we cannot be sinners and continue in it, and expect to go to heaven. With forgiveness comes the expectation that we will not continue in the same path of rebelliousness. Those who know God’s love will want to obey Him (John 14:15).

In saying, “Go and sin no more,” Jesus was not speaking of sinless perfection. He was warning against a return to sinful lifestyle choices. His words both extended mercy and demanded holiness. Jesus was always the perfect balance of grace and truth. The woman caught in adultery was forever changed. Her eyes had been opened to the depravity of what she was doing. Sin no longer held the appeal it once did. When we meet Jesus, sin no longer holds its fatal attraction. Grace changes things. Paul asks “shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” (Romans 6:1-2)
When we turn to Christ and receive His forgiveness, we experience a heart change (Luke 9:23; Acts 1:8). Once we lived only to please ourselves, but when we have been forgiven, our motivation changes. We now live to please God (Galatians 2:20). Forgiveness is not cheap, and it does not excuse the sin that separated us from God. It cost God everything to offer us the cleansing that declares us righteous before Him. Rather than continue in the self-centered path that led us astray from Him to begin with, the forgiven can walk in God’s path in His love. A move toward God is a move toward righteousness, purity, and holy living. We cannot experience the transforming power of forgiveness and the freedom offered beyond the cross without being forever changed.

It should be our goal to “sin no more,” although we recognize that, while we are in the flesh, we will still stumble. God’s desire for each of us is to be holy as He is holy. We still sin, but sin is no longer a lifestyle choice. When we fail, we can come to God and ask forgiveness and make a choice to ‘sin no more’ in that manner. We are empowered by Christ to move beyond the cross- beyond our sin- and experience the freedom to say ‘no’ to unpleasing lifestyles and ‘yes’ to liberty and confidence that God will light a better, holy way.

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Answering The Call

It struck me in the middle of a citywide meeting in a fancy shmancy restaurant, ‘ask for the leftovers’. That’s tacky… I can’t ask. The meeting ended and I walked out the door,maggianos only to see waiters had already boxed up leftovers and set them out for the taking. Okay. I’ll grab a couple. ‘Grab three’. I live alone, I do not need three. ‘There are three of them’. As I walked to my car, the Lord revealed there were three people He wanted to feed. I thought perhaps they would appear on my way back to the office but as I approached the interstate exit I heard Him say ‘keep driving’. So I continued on. I saw a woman walking and thought, that’s probably one. I stopped and asked if she needed help. She did not. So I continued on and on and on and I heard, ‘you’re going the wrong direction’. 30 minutes into my trek and I’m going the wrong direction. So I turned around.

Any other day, I find homeless people on nearly every street corner, but not today. Not one in sight. I started praying, Lord, reveal who these people are. I have to get back to work. And He told me that I couldn’t do his work under the world’s standard of time. A peace calmed my heart. But I started to become anxious soon again. Where are these people? I saw a man standing on a corner. Yes, that could be one, I thought. I parked in a lot, walked up to him and asked “Are you hungry?” “No,” he said, “But I get that alot.” Argh. Okay. So I got back into my car and drove further benchdown the road. I turned into a logical place, a park. I thought since there were three boxed meals, then it must be a family of three I’m looking for. But then I see one… sleeping on a park bench and I knew. So I hopped out of my car (in heels) and trekked through the grass. I nudged him awake, “Are you hungry,” I asked. “YES!”, he exclaimed. “Okay, well God told me you were out here and wanted me to bring you this. God bless you man,” I said and walked back to my car. Alright, one down… two more to go.

A few circles in the park and I saw a man sitting on a swing with a garbage bag sitting next to him, but he’s wearing a pair of Nike’s and has on three gold watches. That can NOT be someone in need. ‘That’s all he has, Trisha. Feed him’. I found parking down the street and journeyed up some paths and through the grass, back to the man on a swing. “Are you swinghungry?” I asked. “Yes, I am,” he said. “Okay. Well, God wanted me to give you this meal,” I remarked. “Why? Why are you doing this,” he asked. “Because God told me you were here and hungry. May God bless you brother,” and I walked away. Side note: I started to feel like maybe I should stay and have a conversation but sadly I didn’t turn back around. I think next time I will stay and listen to his story. That may mean more than a meal at the end of the day.

It’s now an hour later and I have one more meal left. I heard God say ‘start heading back’. So I started the drive and just before the interstate exit, there he was! He must have been late getting to the corner because I had already passed by it once and didn’t see him. luckOr perhaps God had other things for me and I was just early the first time around. Nonetheless, I pulled off the side of the road. He had his dog with him and a sign that read DOWN ON OUR LUCK. I approached him from side and said “I know you are hungry. I’ve been searching all over you. God sees you. He knows you. And He loves you. He wanted me to find you and give you this. Be blessed brother.” Usually someone will chime back ‘oh, God bless you.’ But not this guy. He didn’t say a word. He just looked at me in shock and that’s when I knew… he doesn’t know Jesus and you just introduced him to that love. 

Words cannot express the way my heart is touched by the way God uses us. My lack of patience at times will try to get the best of me, but I have learned that when we ‘answer the call’, it rarely ever happens on our time. In fact, if we’re not careful, God’s call can come across as more of an interruption according to the world’s standards. And it reminds me of the old saying ‘leave room in your life for God’s interruptions. They are really blessings in disguise.’ I am truly blessed and left without sufficient words for how great our God really is. I look forward to that day we meet face to face.

My hope as you’re reading this is that if you’ve ever been unsure about whether God sees you in the mess you’re in, I’m here to tell you He sees, He knows you and help is on the way. Don’t give up hope yet! For others, I’m here to ask ‘Are you ready to answer the call when it comes? What if it looked tacky and took up an hour and a half of your day? I think God is calling out to us every single day to do things like this because that’s what He created us to do. But sadly, I don’t respond to a lot of them because my own agenda gets in the way. I wanted to encourage you with this story today, of what answering the call could look like. I cannot describe the humility on my heart or the power of Jesus exuding in my soul, but maybe it’s not for me to tell you. Perhaps you’ll have to answer the call and experience it for yourself.

Matthew 25:31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

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You’re Not Alone

My heart had been coveting a friend’s marriage and how wonderful it would be to have such a life. And in that very moment, my Abba Father chased me down with His merciful love. I was prompted to open up His word. It landed on 1 Corinthians 7. It was as if God had lifted a veil, fresh eyes danced across the page and a new light was cast on Paul’s carefully crafted words.

26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

I learned there’s no use in wishing we were in a place other than where God has us. In fact, we should be glad that we are not consumed with the anxieties of the world, but only with the things that please the Lord. Men and women in relationships have divided interests, but those set aside have been given a privilege… of undivided devotion to God. The aim is to be firmly established in our hearts, under no necessity and having desire under control. In fact, Paul says it will be these who do ‘even better’.

Before you go thinking that I have concluded to never get married, let me say that I think it would be wonderful to have a God-appointed helpmate to wake up to and fall asleep with, as well as all the incredible parts in between. I’m a very passionate person and touch is my love language, of course I look forward to that day! But what I’ve learned is that there’s no use in seeking out a place God does not have for me right now. Paul reminds me that ‘right now’ is even better.

Under this conclusion, I carried on with my day and made a comment to a friend “I’ve accepted that God has me alone and I’m okay with it.” And just as I clipped the last syllable, words from the heavens reached down and cradled my heart. It was as if He was saying I see you. I understand. My love is here, forever and always.

I search for love, when the night came,
And it closed in, I was alone,
But you found me, where I was hiding,
And now I’ll never ever be the same,
It was the sweetest voice,
That called my name saying

You’re not alone, For I am here,
Let me wipe away your every fear,
My love I’ve never left your side,
I have seen you through the darkest night,
And I’m the one who’s loved you all your life,
All of your life

You cry your self to sleep, cause the hurt is real,
And the pain cuts deep, all hope seems lost,
With heartache your closest friend,
And everyone else long gone,
You’ve had to face the music on your own,
But there is a sweeter song that calls you home saying

You’re not alone, For I am here,
Let me wipe away your every tear,
My love I’ve never left your side,
I have seen you through the darkest night,
And I’m the one who’s loved you all your life,
All your life

Faithful and true, Forever,
Oh my love will carry you

You’re not alone, For I, I am here,
Let me wipe away your every fear
Oh yeah, My love I’ve never left your side,
I have seen you through the darkest night,
Your darkest night,
And I’m the one who’s loved you all your life,
All of your life.

(You’re Not Alone – Meredith Andrews)

I’ve never been closer to the Lord than right now, right here. And I don’t ever want to see that day where I’m further from Him than where we’re at today. If you find yourself thinking you’re ‘alone’, I pray God uses these words to speak a new message of love and hope to an aching soul.

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What’s So Wrong With Being High Maintenance?

I’m re-posting this article because honestly, the husband’s response softened my heart at the thought that God would create a man who would say ‘go ahead… I dare you’ in such conviction to love and give all that he’s got to his wife. He didn’t back down when she was feeling ‘needy’ and wasn’t trying to shy away from the hard stuff… but actually pressed in deeper. It gave me butterflies. I dare God to give me someone like that!

This is a post by Allison Vesterfelt. Pick up a copy of her latest book, Packing Light: Thoughts on Living Life with Less Baggage on her website and make sure to follow along on Twitter (@allyvest) for regular updates. To read more of her posts on the Storyline Blog, click here.

For most of my life, I prided myself on being relatively low maintenance. I was always more likely to go camping than shopping, hated the idea of asking for help (especially if it meant playing the “damsel in distress”), and tried to be the kind of person who never needed too much of anything from anyone.

I thought this made me the best kind of friend, sister, daughter and even girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. I was so easy to be around, I thought. I never took more than I gave. I never took much of anything.

Who wouldn’t want to be friends with me?

• • •

Then, one day during my first year of marriage I got into an argument with my husband.

It was the same argument we’d rehearsed a hundred times before (isn’t this how it happens? We could almost read from a script). I admitted I’d been feeling a little bit neglected and invisible. He asked me why I hadn’t said something earlier, and I blubbered something like, “I just don’t want to be a burden to you!”

This time, when I said that, something clicked for him, and he told me something different than he’d ever told me before.

“Go ahead,” he insisted. “Be a burden to me. I dare you.”

Suddenly, in that moment, I realized my tendency to pretend like I didn’t need anything from him, or from anyone else, wasn’t healthy. It didn’t make me low-maintenance. It made me a liar. Because I did need something from him.

I needed him to love him and care for me as much as I loved and cared for him.
And in order for him to do that, I had to admit I needed something.

That morning, for the first time in our marriage, my husband made me pancakes. And you know what I learned? I learned my husband knows how to make really good pancakes. Pancakes with lots of chocolate chips, just the way I like them. And also, perhaps more importantly, I learned that he really liked making them for me.

I’m not a burden just because I need something. That’s what I’m learning.

• • •

We all need things, want things, and are hungry for things (like pancakes). Relationships take maintenance. People take maintenance. And when we try to act like we don’t, one of two things happens to our relationships: The first option is that we grow resentful. The second is that we become invisible.

In both of these scenarios, our relationships wither and die.

A relationship requires two people to function — two people who want things, need things, feel things and think things. If one disappears, the relationship ends.

So go ahead, be high maintenance. Hopefully while eating pancakes.

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A Journey With Jesus

My heart has been downtrodden for some days and the weight of it has worn heavily on my body. The doctor diagnosed my physical ailments as tendonitis. I shed tears of joy and ones of sadness. I’ve been chasing my God day and night for relief, but His brief silence has been unsettling.

In the middle of my grief, I heard His voice, ‘let’s take a journey’. How? My muscles are in pain. ‘Come’. So I grabbed my tennis shoes and keys. As I was walking out the door, I noticed my hand, in an unusual way, felt no pain in its grasp. I walked to the trails and felt His nudge, ‘it is time’. I started a steady jog. A mile down, I wanted to walk again and it was as if His hand reached down and held my head high, ‘look to me’. The trail in front of me faded, the passersby blurred, and everything else dimmed. My gaze fixed steadily on the clouds, I counted all the ways of His goodness. I don’t recall the breaths I breathed, only the air He supplied. I couldn’t remember the trail I had traveled, only the place He had brought me. I should come down from the clouds to get clarity on where I’m at. ‘Don’t look down. Don’t look back now. There’s time for that when it’s all over. Just keep your eyes on me… trust me… we will get there.’

My mind started to think about how far I had yet to go and a heaviness weighed down my strength. Once again I felt His touch holding my chin high, ‘it’s only me and you Trisha, just me and you, that’s all you have to worry about’. A plane flew in my line of sight and He said ‘they fly close to me and can even get in the way sometimes, but be not mistaken. Do not get distracted. They are not Me.’

The awning of a bridge overhead reminded me that we had a little more than a mile left, and then the music stopped. And He said, ‘keep looking at me. Don’t stop, don’t get distracted, keep your eyes and mind on me and I will sustain you.’ I kept running but in the quietness thoughts weaved in and out, if you stop now, no one will know… your body is tired, just let up a little and run the rest later… you’re not going to make it. ‘Look at me Trisha, I will sustain you, trust me. I am the air that you breath. I am the supplier of life. Just keep your mind on my me, it will be over before you know it.’

Another awning said we only had a quarter mile left and He said ‘give it all you got’. That seems impossible, I am tired and I can’t see anything with my eyes in the clouds. ‘Trust me, trust me’. So I raised my step higher and propelled my body faster with everything I had. My mind wanted to visualize a 400 meter dash and how long that was, but I shook it off I trust you! I trust you! I trust you!

I crossed the final post… and let out a deep breath. I didn’t look back. This journey wasn’t about how many steps I took or what I passed up. This was about my journey with Jesus.