I am a resilient, stubborn woman. The thing with stubbornness is that it can be confused with a nobler trait called ‘persistence’. The difference is, this belligerent behavior actually ruins relationships. And here’s what I’m now starting to realize: Loving others is more important than being ‘right’. 

The other day, I posted a moral statement online. Many friends agreed with the post, but one person did not and told the world that no one was going to change her mind. My emotions couldn’t believe the audacity of this person’s comment because I knew about their private life. Leading with my emotions to prove that I was right, I privately texted this person and said ‘how can you say such a thing when…’. I was in the wrong and clearly not loving this girl while trying to prove myself right. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I’ve acted in this way. I have a rap sheet of defending what is right, versus being a defender of love.

Jesus delivered the raw truth. He never compromised or backed down from the hard stuff… but his final breath was love. Love meets people where they are at, in their sin. When we choose to go there, I believe we discover exceptional beauty in the image each person is created in, instead of the one we’d like them to be.

It’s difficult though because the closer you get to God, the more you see ‘wrong’ with the world. In the purity of God’s presence, it can seem unbearable to accept humanity in it’s fallen state at times. But then I look in the mirror and see a sinner, far filthier than any friend, with planks that jut deeper than the eye can see. I feel His sharp conviction cut me down to size as I recognize my flaws that go a mile deep and ten thousand miles wide, my moments of disgusting delight in a second of sin, my heart that hardens from hurt and heals crooked at times. I’m stuck in the struggle to be more Christlike without condemnation, seeking righteousness without preaching my own ‘right’ness.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8

When God’s unfailing love gets inside you, it transforms the fear of being wrong into an agent of free-flowing love. Our hearts begin to conform to the consuming love of Christ and unconditional love for others becomes our focus. There is nothing more freeing than denying our own agenda and desiring to love without limits… like Jesus.

Lord, free my heart and let me choose love when my fleshly tendency is to be right. I get so wrapped up in small minded living; I even start to judge myself and others by the standards I set, not realizing these requirements are higher than yours. Your love is always deep enough and wide enough to engulf me wherever I am. It does not change or diminish regardless of my choices or consequences. It follows me into the depths and darkest parts. Transform my heart to be a reflection of this kind of unfathomable love. When other people stop loving, renew a steadfast spirit in me to keep on choosing love. Amen.