Have you ever had a friend say something to you that just completely threw you off guard. I mean, something that was just totally not what you expected, perhaps even something vicious?

A natural human reaction is to be dumbfounded… probably confused followed with anger. Anger that someone so close could say something so ‘off’. Off character, maybe off key, maybe just off– the wall. If you’re good, this is where self control sets in and tells you to just walk away. Don’t react… let time heal the words. But if you’re not so good, defensiveness sets in. Suddenly you find yourself attacking the person you love. Maybe it’s because you’re scared… of the unknown– not knowing those words were even possible to be coming from a friend (usually you can predict your friends words). Or scared that a person you trusted now seems to be playing for the other team… the opposing team that’s out to make your life a living hell– I think they call that one paranoia though.

If you’re prideful– or just human, you too lash back with your own set of words that you know will cut right to the heart. Deep into the heart. Something that will knock them too off guard and send a little bit of that vicious medicine their way. It all happens so quickly and before you know it, you’re both sitting wondering what the heck just happened. Did we really just say that to each other? Do we really feel that way about each other? Now you’re both confused… and sad and angry.

Does an apology heal the words that have been said? Now both of you will live in fear that if the friendship mends… those same words could come out again and hurt all over. Very sad. And yet, this is happening in our world everyday… friendships thrown to the fires of hell because things like vulnerability seem so hard to accept. Fear stands in the doorway telling us all… if you mend a broken friendship and allow yourself to become vulnerable again, the door will slam in your face a lot harder than the first. Sadly, fear wins most of the time.

My take. Fear is no friend of mine. I’d rather feel the hurt 70 times over than to never open myself up and love someone over and over again to the very depths of death. I would die for you my friend, if it meant we could live and love in our friendship for just moment in time.