How to get through the holidays

We’re still a couple days away from Christmas and I have yet to board a plane to be with family, yet somehow we’ve already found the short fuses and tension stretching patience with each other.

Can you relate?

forgiveness, love, love because that's who you areThe problems may have nothing to do with you except that you’re within proximity of the resentful responses and it’s pulling on your patience to stay present with people like this.

I’m paddling in this boat with you, my friend.

The enemy just needs to get us wrapped up in anger and bitterness to steal the show from what this holiday is all about. He wants you to be a bitter soul behind a beautiful face, crippled by the offenses this Christmas.

Maybe you’re coming to the table feeling resentment because your family could never completely understand how your own rejections feel. Yours are seemingly impossible to forgive.

Unforgiveness is the devil’s design to keep you bruised and bleeding and long-term angry. He can use even the lightest offense to do it. You’re not the victim of offense. You’ve been targeted by the devil with anger and he’s been strategizing how to suck all the power out of your life.

Forgive. Because what you have now is not freedom but bitterness. Your forgiveness doesn’t benefit the other person… it’s for you to feel whole and complete. Genuine freedom is waiting for you on the other side of forgiveness. Release your friends, your family… and the ticket agent juggling ten jobs to get you home for Christmas.

My prayer is for God to pull out all the stops and give you the strength to release others from what they owe you. May the Lord shift your thinking from the same old broken roads to a path of peace with each other and focus on the purpose of coming together. ‪#‎fervent‬

Don’t let the people you love determine how you’re going to love.

The Story of Grace

tender love of Jesus, mercy of God, Christmas is about JesusThe story of the prodigal son isn’t about a rebellious son who returns home.

This is a story about the grace and tenderness and mercy of a father who would leave his home and run toward a son who rejected him.

His name is Jesus. God left His home to come to this earth in the form of a man for you.

He doesn’t give gifts to people who think they deserve it. God gives gifts to people who know they are not worthy of it.

God thought about you not at your best but at your worst.

May your soul feel chased down by the tender love and mercy of a father this Christmas. And may the overflow of your heart remain full of hope, generously sharing this great joy we have found in Jesus.

A Man’s Worth

30 minutes in I realized just how long it had been since my friend and I shared a table together. And I also noticed how the discussion had shifted back to me quite frequently. He stayed at the surface of his story about financials and friends. It was obvious he was dodging until I pressed into the personal parts, like relationships and dating.

“The truth is you are a good person and she is a good person and your dinner together was a culmination of two really great people coming to the table with charming souls to share,” I suggest. He is stunned by the honesty in this statement and we stare as these bittersweet morsels sink in.

She told him she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Those words shatter a man’s self-esteem with rejection.

My friend doesn’t want to accept a variable equation where good plus good includes carry overs to help us grow; he expects these exchanges to equal happily ever after.

“Don’t let the lack of her readiness speak rejection over your soul,” my voice whispers through the noise. “Look at me and hear these words, you are worthy. She is worthy, and she is not ready to receive that.”

Before he can salute this sage suggestion, I credit the man who simultaneously broke and mended my heart with these words.

Grasping to accept the brutal and beautiful truth, we stew over our menu. Or at least I was. In the silence, his heart was souring in light of my certainty.

Looking up from the insert of specials, I ask if he knows what he wants.

“What women want is a man who treats them less than they deserve,” he gathers.

It is clear bitterness has barged in offering a menu with some bite.

“Don’t go there,” I say. “Some women settle for less than they deserve.  It is a lost battle with self-esteem.”

The taste of a woman’s sabotage is pungent for a goodhearted man to hear, mostly to men like my friend, who have protected purity because of what he believes; she is the beauty and he is the beast.

He stares at his plate and stabs the Caesar salad with his fork, “it doesn’t make sense and now I don’t know what to do.”

Sadly, I’m afraid I stirred up more confusion in this conversation than where his convictions led him before dinner was served.

Buried beneath the bewilderment, I can see he is scared. He spent seven years waiting on a woman he concluded was ‘the one’. And now she’s not. The painful admission of his past associates his responsibility with her integrity; his willingness to stay with her decision to walk away.

We’re on to the main course as he finally cuts into the slice of sirloin and baked potato, “I just don’t know if I can wait on someone like that again.”

Contentment has been the centerpiece of this conversation, with self-esteem and pride dipping and dodging around the table to get a clearer view.

As a woman with more remorse than respect for the way she’s treated a man, I must say to you now, what she couldn’t say then.

The way your heart loves generously is how Christ loved the Church. Your words stir more healing and forgiveness than burden with hurt. Your reflection encourages the hopeless; your hand gives joy to the homeless. Your subtle strength to protect souls over sharing their stories is simply admirable. I see a man still mounted on his horse while blazing through his own battles. Yes, I see you clearly; a man after God’s own heart. I am in awe of you, and I’m scared.

If I accept your love, then I too must acknowledge God’s mercy. But my struggles are still in me and I’m just not ready. I don’t know when the slate of my soul will feel clear, yet having you wait is my greatest fear.

The tone in my voice grates through a generous wedge of his reality and shreds the truth into bite-size helpings he can digest.

Her fight with the former is not meant for his medal of honor in the future. She must find the bravery to face these mistakes in her own timeline.

Though every prince wants the privilege to gallop in on Goliath, every princess must stir up strength to stand and slay her own struggles.

And my friend, well, he must stand guard over his own heart, and silence the voices sizing up a prince’s value with the world’s vision of what it means for a man and woman to be apart.

Why We Go To Church

Jesus is the Captain, Jesus at the stern, Jesus can navigate your boat, Jesus can calm the storms, trishakeehn.comWe don’t go to church when we have it all together.

We go to church when we need answers… direction, and clarity, healing, and breakthroughs, money, and deliverance.

Whatever you’re searching for in this life, I promise you Jesus is at the stern. He can speak to your storm.

We all face a sea of decisions, fear and even regret. And for a little while, you may believe that all the patchwork in your own power is enough to hold things together until another storm crashes into the seams, where things are a little weaker than before.

It doesn’t matter how big the sea is or how much skill you have, you will not reach the other side of it without Jesus.

Don’t Get Comfortable

Want to know where your time went? Examine your focus. From your focus comes the overflow of a soul.

Society has taken a celebration of the birth of Christ and made this joyful event an overwhelming season. Stores flash more signs and sales, while bank accounts dress in red during this time of year.

We become stretched for time with longer lists; parties, presents, people to see, place to go. Distracted from the root reason for all the ribbons and lights, our heart begins to harden. Our spirit craves being still but lacks the self-control to say ‘no’.

This isn’t an ‘us’ against ‘them’ phenomenon. We’ve contributed to the chaos over the years and now here we are wanting to step out.

J. Krishnamurti, trishakeehn.com, healthy soul, don't adjust to society, sick society, Christmas rush, overwhelmed at Christmas

The Gift You Long For

Everything seems urgent at this time of year and expectations tell us all the going and doing is very important.

The calendar controls our time but we’re so overwhelmed to even realize this pressure is the pulse driving whether we keep up or stay ahead. ‘Rush’ repurposes peace into a chaotic Christmas story we tell around the tree through short tempers and careless thinking.

It’s a time to celebrate, but walking into a worship service even reminds me of work; people I haven’t had a breath to get back to. It’s been so long since our schedules have seen some blank spaces that plotting out this dreamy word peace feels like a burden.

We’re being robbed, my friend. The onslought of life’s pressures have started to dominate and define us.

Some of it isn’t even bad. We might be wrapped up in so many seemingly good things, like our jobs, the church, charities yet at the end of the day we still don’t have our peace and quiet.

It feels like we’re slaves here.

Enter Exodus. The second book in the bible. The Israelites were bossed around by taskmasters all day and night. They were slaves to the demands and saying ‘no’ wasn’t an option.

It’s as if this ancient, living Word just ripped a page out of my daily planner and planted the story near the beginning of the book because the Author knew someone who needed this kind of message didn’t have much time to dig any deeper… should even an hour in the day open up to get this far.

Back to the book, even though God sends Moses to free these people from the physical demands, their minds were stuck in a slave mentality. The Israelites didn’t know what it looked like to stop or pause from work.

slaves to schedules, slaves aren't in charge, slaves have no control, the clock controls slaves, work controls slaves, trishakeehn.comGod has sent a way to relieve us from the tension. We’re just not choosing it. If there’s a cancellation on our calendar, it becomes open season.

The thought of deliberately choosing rest around this time of year feels almost unthinkable – family is flying in or you’re flying out, kids have written out their wish lists, parties are being planned and friends are expecting you to be there – because it all lands on people who still think the way a slave thinks.

The enemy will tell you that sketching out even a half inch margin around this to-do list is impossible. When you decide to permanently mark peace into your plans, the enemy will use friends and family to jab at your choice, compare their life with yours and say that you’re selfish with your time.

Since when did other people determine your worth? Busyness has never been declared a badge of honor in the realms of what matters most. Working more will never earn you favor in the eyes of what’s really important.

So why is it so difficult to press pause on the pressure? Mostly because you’ve been bullied into thinking it’s up to you to protect your reputation. You’ve become motivated by the fear of failure so insecurity has you pushing harder to achieve ‘big’ things and impress other people.

You could be intimidated by the quiet places because it feels less important there, so you pick up the torch of self-reliance to accomplish something. May I suggest it could have something to do with your kids and being obedient to their beck and call?

Slaves don’t control the clock; the work controls them.freedom, standing firm, yoke of slavery, Galatians 5:1, slavery, trishakeehn.com

If your devoted time with God has been replaced over a period of time, you’ve diminished power in the present because you lost your allegiance to the one thing that’s most important.

Our culture continues to spin this merry-go-round of achievement, production, and results faster and faster, but the answer isn’t to keep up. No, the solution is to step off.

It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

The fear of what others will say or think about your ‘no’ is straight up from the enemy.

If you aren’t claiming your time, someone else will. There is a serious battle for your contentment, your peace, your rest, your health, even your ability to worship attentively. The enemy will use whatever leverage he can get a grasp on take away your freedom and satisfaction in Christ, your trust in God and your availability to move at the invitation of our Author’s perfectly timed will.

We are not here to be slaves to schedules. You don’t need to keep hustling. You’ve already received approval from the only One whose approval really matters. His value IS your value.

your values, who you are, God wants good things for you, trishakeehn.comGod doesn’t want something from you. He wants something for you. Your value is not in what you do but in who you are.

You deserve to live at your best in every area of life so start with focusing prayers on getting free from the pressure.

God will send the Spirit’s power to help you gain control of your day by creating quiet corners that anchor the intersection of chaos and God’s best.

Declare some boundaries based on your devotion to this place of peace and know that everything else will ultimately benefit by your clearer focus.

Surrendering your schedule to rest cultivates a calm spirit so that your words spring from a well filled with joy and love. Your walk will be guided by patience with people, instead strain and stress. Your body will wake up renewed and ready to start again tomorrow.

In your effort to practice more peace this year, you may not have presents for everyone under the tree. More mail may come in than cards going out. Friends might have to wait until January to see you again.

Sometimes it’s not what you carry in your hands that will have impact with people. It might be what’s in your heart that leaves an impression.

As I type out these final thoughts, the hair stylist is wrapping my hair up in foils because these are the very few silent moments I have left to write. I’ve struggled with being stretched during this season. My faithfulness to rest has been less than honorable.

My hope is to find this place of peace so that I may be fully present with loved ones in the following days. My prayer is to leave the season feeling more satisfied than any pretty paper or package could ever offer.

Shine

 

shine, matthew 5:16, be the light, trishakeehn.com

You are beautiful. And to be beautiful every day means to be yourself. You are uniquely created in the image of a beautiful artist.

Simply stunning and crafted with an extraordinary soul… Let your light dazzle us today. Keep shining, Beautiful.

(Matthew 5:16) #bethelight

If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. -Eckhart Tolle

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

When the epicenter of love, our beloved Paris, was shaken last week, the core of every heart questioned our own security. We were brushed with the brevity of life, sharing with neighbors we’ve never noticed.

Still trying to understand the reality breaking into regular scheduled Friday nights, we switched between broadcasts and social media. Those who escaped went ‘live’ on webcams sharing their story. Hearing the horror from the mouths of our Parisian friends brought us to the streets of accepting that the City of Lights is a little smaller now.

Many of us haven’t stopped tuning in since. We want to know, ‘where do we go from here.’ Last night, I needed a break from the questions. Switching over to NBC’s singing Great is Thy Faithfulness, Jordan Smith, Lamentations 3:21-23, faithfulness of Godcompetition ‘The Voice’, I carried on through the house cleaning up a days mess while cooking dinner and listening from afar.

The rice had just finished steaming as the timer told me chicken in the oven was also done. Setting dinner to the side to cool, contestant Jordan Smith started to share about his journey through singing, being different and sharing his gift on the show. He summed up his song choice, ‘Great is Thy Faithfulness’, with this statement:

“This is about the faithfulness of God. None of this would be possible in your own strength. God is going to provide because He is faithful. God says, ‘I’m going to do everything for you. All you have to do is wake up every morning and be who you are.'”

I wasn’t looking for an answer tonight, but God held His hand out and provided one anyway. There is hope because He is one faithful God.

Courage could be being present

This past week, I wrapped up a CASA case on eight of nine kids I’ve celebrated holidays and shared a shoulder with. It was an assignment the court passed down more than a year ago.

What began as one abused child, DCS investigations revealed was more of a family ordeal.

Would you be willing to accept all nine? The Judge wanted to know. Do you have the volunteer time?

How can one deliberate over what we can do, when the need is right there staring back at you? These little ones ranged in age, from 15 to two and their curious little minds wanted to know, ‘would you leave us too’?

The children had been whisked away from school in these wrinkled up clothes and tattered shoes. No one could question if neglect was happening; these allegations appeared uncomfortably true.

bravery, courage is being present, be availableI caught a glimpse of the eighteen little eyes, peanut butter smeared on their chins. My heart couldn’t say ‘no’, instead I asked, ‘where do we begin’?

This is a proud moment, indeed, and yet I also struggle with questions of my own neglect to the neighbors around me. Sometimes it’s easier to serve ‘there’ instead of right ‘here’. It’s more fun to fly away or be where my friends are, than it is to stare out of the window-framed picture on my wall and see a neighborhood in need. I have more questions than answers, like ‘where in the world begin’?

And then I sit with the steam coming off my coffee cup and peer into the sweet soul of such kind hearts. Sometimes they remain more comfortable staying at the surface of their story when the moment is still too tender to unearth the truth. And that’s okay, as long as I am present to hear the beginning and see the end.

Sometimes we fail to serve ‘here’ because we want to be ‘there’. Yet, if you truly believe the Almighty God put your hands and heart ‘here’, on the block you call home, in your cubicle where most of a day is spent, and with this specific circle of friends for His glory to be revealed, then you have no use looking over ‘there’. That’s what I’m learning.