Category Archives: Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety are two mental health disorders, two extremes of a balanced mind. Each of these can take us on a rollercoaster of emotions. Depression and anxiety are opposites, though treated with the same medicine.

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How to honor loved ones we have lost

time, healing, losing a loved one, death

The evidence of a story is in the lines they leave across the face.

Distance can deliver a hard truth that separates two souls. But time, time is a treasure that heals with all the parts it won’t let us forget.

20 years have blown by, the seasons have changed many times, sometimes with the bite of a howling winter wind.time, healing, losing a loved one, death

A tidal wave of thoughts will still soak my face in memories, though all I can do is learn to swim. The calm eventually comes because strong is the only choice we have here.

My lips lead with thanksgiving for all the stories we shared. I wouldn’t trade the storms; that’s where we lived the dance and leaned in with tender care.

Thank you, Father, for the change this one life has made, in his living years and even after death. The depth of loss sheds light on the richness of life. Without knowing the valley, we cannot really know the height.

Time does not separate us. The echo of a voice and the outline of a sweet face is never too far. All these years later, his life still touches a place in my heart. Time is what changes us.

May our hearts remain sensitive to the brevity of life as we breathe in love and peace and blow out the joy of this grace we have in Jesus.

In Loving Memory of my beloved brother, Michael.
(October 17, 1982 – November 14, 1996)

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Courage in the Quiet

Sometimes A Brave Heart Waits

I waited patiently for the Lord… (Psalm 40:1)

Waiting can be much more difficult than walking. It requires patience. Not a very natural fruit of the spirit we’re born with. As babies, we cried until we were content. As children, we ignored the stop signs. In our adolescence, we found ways around the rules. And as a teen, we flat out rebelled against ‘no’. And now, here we are as adults. Now, we can buy our way through the delay.

Did you know that God has a purpose in ALL His delays? And the ‘stops’ too.

When we don’t rush the race, this steady walk provides a renewal of strength. We are empowered by our self-control in the stops. Edges are chiseled as we wait. The wait is growing endurance and perseverance below the surface. It is refining the steps in front of us. But so often we see standing still as failure and being forced into inaction – required to watch the tides of life as we stand on the shore.

It takes a fierce faith to submit to the will of God and give up opportunities for work and leave honors to others. To be quiet. Confident. And even rejoicing while the busyness rushes past you.

In a cloud of isolated quick thinking, our fleeting feelings are apt to react with coward logic when life isn’t moving. Poor decisions are made. Life-staking choices. We exchange God’s best for an offer of immediate gratification. Almost always, we regret it.

The winner’s circle is a quiet waiting. Stay still. Surrender your schedule. When the pressure in life hits your tender places and the reflex is to react, remember it requires more courage to stand still, wait and still not lose heart or hope.

Instead of running for relief, relax. Rest. Push through the crowded thoughts that are limiting time and self-defeating in light of your submission. Your words carry weight and create reality. Your words in your own mind, about yourself, circulate the truth. What truth are you telling yourself?

In the heat of pressure and resistance, reach into the vault of God’s Truth and align your thinking with the path of faith and perseverance.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

You are His masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing, and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.(1 Corinthians 9:25)

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)

Be still. And know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

Visualize yourself in the winner’s circle. You have the power of Jesus to create life or death with what you think about. Speak the right words into your situation. Push your thoughts around. Pray the burdens down. Get your faith and focus set on His strength. Nothing is impossible for Him (Matthew 19:26). He holds this world securely in His grip. His supernatural love surrounds us and can break through the heartache of letting go.

“There are seasons when being still is the hardest, most obedient thing we can do. God doesn’t require you to do everything. He does ask for your obedience.” — Christina Patterson, Daughters of Fire

Be still. Watch Him work. Waiting and keeping yourself steady, faithful in His leading is the secret of strength. Anything that does not align with obedience to His will is a waste of time and energy.

Sometimes the most effective thing we can do is to let go of the reins and trust Him. Do you trust God enough to just be still? It’s tempting to fill the stillness to distract us from the discomfort of feeling alone. Yet in the stillness is where we realize God is enough.

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Courage in the Quiet by Trisha Keehn first appeared on LiftUpYourDay.com on August 26, 2016.

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The Richness of Your Life

richness in your story, difficulties produce character, trishakeehn.comHow often are you thankful for even the hardship in your life? It’s difficult to emulate a spirit of thanksgiving when the storm is raging through your situation but here’s the truth about the wind and the waves wreaking havoc in your life: they all had to pass through the palm of our loving Father before they could touch even a hair on your head. No matter what kind of chaos is swirling about, every ounce of hardship went through God before it was allowed in your life.

A broken relationship. Sickness. Loss of a job. Financial woes. No place to call home. Rebellious children. Loneliness.

Don’t give the devil any credit for even the pain. That pain is tempering a soul, breaking a hardened heart and softening all the edges to lean in to others facing the battle, to lean in to the Almighty for a miracle you cannot fathom, to lean in to even the questions you often run from in your own mind. I’m sorry that it hurts so much at times. If you let it, this pain will produce such rich character and flavoring that seasons your story. This is what makes you set apart and unique in a land of 7 billion people. We need your story and your pain. Praise the Father still. Give thanks always and for everything.

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15 Ways to Find Peace

When the struggle is still strong

Finding peace is simply making it a priority. It’s a choice in the midst of our circumstances that we have to consciously make. When we set our minds on peace, everything else will organize around it.

Colossians 3:15 reminds us to ‘let the peace of Christ rule our hearts’. Peace is to lead our lives and be the director of the performance.

Rest can come at any hour at even the smallest price. Though, it will always require sacrifice. We must give up one thing to spend time on something else.

If we’re not careful, we will forfeit our own peace of mind in an effort to help someone else unravel their problems. Other times, we get caught up in what practicing what peace needs to look like, that it prevents us from experiencing even a fraction of it at all. Here’s some guidance to cultivate the calm in your soul.finding peace, calm,

  1. Reframe what kind of time solitude requires. Often our own vision of what something should look like, or what we want something to look like prevents us from experiencing anything at all.
  2. Try 15 minutes sitting down to just breathe. Soak in the stillness of a moment. Oxygen clears the head. Much like breathing correctly during exercise is important for proper form and a deep stretch, so it is for your thinking. A shallow inhale doesn’t get deep enough to create an oxygen flow in the blood. Stretch your body.
  3. Grab a journal. Drive to the edge of town. Go anywhere you can sit in the early one morning hours to begin with peace. Focus on what you appreciate about the people in your life instead of wishing they would change. Catch critical, blaming, or self-victimizing thoughts. Instead of ruminating on what someone else did wrong, express yourself and ask yourself what you can do to create the change you’re seeking.
  4. Close your eyes and listen. I find a rock when I’m hiking to sit and take it all in. If you’re not near nature, try the ‘Calm’ app or light music to drown out the noise in your mind. These thoughts will clear the head space and unwind tangled up anxiety. Turn your thoughts onto the freedom that rain has when it calls. As it washes away and strips away the burdens.
  5. Schedule a date with yourself—a time when you don’t need to meet anyone else’s requests—and do something that feeds your mind and spirit. Go to a museum or take yourself to your favorite restaurant and simply enjoy your own company.
  6. Declutter your surroundings, like a corner in your home or table space in your office that you spend most of your time staring at.
  7. Take a prayer walk in the morning to meditate on scripture, God’s promises and positive affirmations that help you feel present and empowered.
  8. Write down everything that is draining you mentally. It’s a form of getting it out and letting it go. Instead of holding in your feelings and developing resentment, write them down.
  9. Tap into your childlike senses and get creative with art. Doodle. Play music. Dance. The creative adult is the child who survived. Have fun with someone you love. Forget about everything that feels like a problem and do something silly.
  10. Muster compassion for someone who hurt you instead of wallowing in bitterness, which will make it easier to forgive them and set yourself free.
  11. Set aside some time to actively enjoy the good things about the present. Recognize the purpose in every place the Lord has called you to; your work, your church, your neighborhood.
  12. Create a list of things you love about yourself instead of dwelling on how you wish you were different.
  13. Start reading that book you bought about dealing with the challenge you’ve been facing.
  14. Tell the truth in your relationships. When we hold in our true feelings, we create stress for ourselves. Be kind but honest and share what you really feel.
  15. Do something kind for someone else. Volunteer your time to help a charity you’re passionate about. Put all your energy into helping someone else and you will inadvertently help yourself.

These are just a few ideas to help you get started. When we have peace leading the way, problems won’t weigh down the decisions we need to make for the day. What do you do to cultivate the peace in your life?

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This post, 15 Ways to Find Peace, by Trisha Keehn, appeared first on LiftUpYourDay.com

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The Beginning of Community

Starts in your soul

Minutes pass slowly, as I breathe in the gentle air of Heaven. The resistance in life that tugs on every string I try to pull has frustrated my once settled soul. All these outward cravings clouding the inward search are a clue that my living has become a cover up to the cries beneath what can be seen.
He says it’s courage that has led me down a difficult road, beyond the grave of woundedness and denial, to enter into this desert of being alone.
“Do not run,” He says, “just be still and quiet. Listen to your own struggle.”
It seems that while the silence grows deeper, I become more and more aware of a presence embracing my soul. And as a deep peace fills the empty space, I know it can only be Christ in me that recognizes Christ in all that is surrounding.
“Here I am!” I yell.
community, community with God, peace, community with othersThrowing his arms around me, the warmth holds me like I am His. Like He has been here the whole time waiting. We look at each other for a long while, until the corners of my smile tremble and the tears flush away the last remnants of fear.
Collapsing on this trail of mercy all my thoughts are safe with Him. “I am tired, Lord. I’m not sure which way to go. Tether my wandering heart. Every anxious thought, secure it to your promises. For the love, Lord! I want nothing without You. You know this. I’m not looking for answers. I’m listening to the questions. Breathe, O breath of God.”
He offers me the chance to stay alone and take the risk of entering into my own experience, without being immersed in more knowledge or illusive advice.
So I remain.
He assures my desperate heart that unknown beauty is growing just below. “One day this desert will be a garden,” He insists.
Bringing my heart to this place of community with God alone is the beginning. My soul sways with the breeze. Spirit, breathe Your heart in me. Carve your ways into the fibers of my being.
From now on, wherever You go, or wherever I go, all the ground between us will be Holy Ground. And this is where my community begins.
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We Still Hope

Lord, I thank you for the gift of today. I choose to focus on what’s right and not dwell on what’s wrong.

God, I know that you are bigger than anything that I’m facing and that you have me in the palm of your hand.

I believe that every chain trying to hold me down is being broken right now in the name of Jesus. Every stronghold trying to stop me is being loosened in the name of Jesus.against all odds, we still hope, against all logic, hope, trishakeehn.com

Lord, You said what was meant for my harm, You turn and use for my advantage. So I shake off the burdens and declare that I have victory in Jesus. I put my shoulders back and hold my head up high.

I thank you Lord for all you’ve done in the past and I boldly confess that my greatest victories are still out in front of me. I let go of the old and take the limits off of You, Jesus.

I live from a place of peace and rest knowing You, my God, are for me… who can be against me?

This is my declaration, Jesus. I speak of your strength and joy rising up from the inside as I place my trust and confidence in You, Almighty God.

So breathe in my direction, Jesus. Comfort me in the disappointments and loss. Give me beauty for ashes. Restore my health. Rebuild my relationships and make me brand new. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Make this your declaration if you too need to let the devil hear it loud and very clear: Against all odds… Against all logic… we still have H O P E!

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The Hope In Your Hardship

God is here, God is closer than your bones, a new song will be on your lips, it is a new day, His light has surely comeEven with tears streaming down your cheeks, lift up your eyes and see that Heaven is closer than you know. Beloved, open your ears to a new song. His love can’t be undone. And though this won’t take away the wreckage you’re sorting through. The pain will still sting. There may be consequences you have yet to face. But you’re not stuck here.

Let these words wipe away a few tears; He’s closer right now than your skin and bones. He’s breathing deep into the broken parts and resurrecting a new life. Know that He will never leave you and His love won’t let you go. He is here.

Open your mouth and let your voice carry a new song. It is a new day. His light has surely come.

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Slowing Down Saves Time

What I’m learning is how to live for longer stretches in the sweet seasons. Some hard choices have cleared a path for this space, like the bittersweet disconnect with a temptation to get twisted up in the minute by minute updates.

quiet place, rest, solitude, nevadaIt’s easy for me to get busy with my desires, someone else’s needs and the rest of the world’s suggestions. The fallout of that is a stressed out mind and a painfully stretched heart. My relationships work better when there’s carved out space to listen and laugh unbridled for hours.

We can save everyone some time by slowing down. When we live out of this sanctuary in our soul, we are more careful with conversations. We pause in places that a hurried life rushes past. We yield when there are question marks.

Mostly though, it’s the inner dialogue that consumes me the most. The endless chatter of my own thoughts. Which is why I must pump the brakes from time to time.

You can’t lead the world around you if you can’t harness your own soul. The core of your life incorporates your mind, your capacity to think, your emotions, your capacity to feel and even your capacity to choose. This is what makes our life so unique. The soul is the distinctness God gave us.

We work hard to take care of the framework on our house; the parts people can see. What are we doing for the gears that keep the lights on?

And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? (Matthew 16:26)

Often we equate slowing down as missing out. But truthfully, when we merge into a slower lane, there is margin to savor the simple moments, like the sun throwing back the clouds at dawn and the crackle of a good campfire. This is grace. Grace with ourselves and grace with all those around us.

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Comfortable Keeps You From God

prayer changes things, prayer heals, prayer is an invitation, prayer is powerful, www.trishakeehn.comMark: You prayed and believed your whole life. Never done anything wrong. And here you are. You’re the nicest person I know. I am the meanest. You have dementia. My life is perfect. Explain that to me!

Mina’s Mother: Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free of trouble because he doesn’t want them turning to God. Their sin is like a jail cell, except it is all nice and comfy and there doesn’t seem to be any reason to leave. The door’s wide open. Till one day, time runs out, and the cell door slams shut, and suddenly it’s too late.

(Movie Quote from “God’s Not Dead”)

More than a quote though, that’s the honest truth. Whatever you’re facing, draw even closer to God. This wasn’t meant for you to brave alone. It’s an invitation to lean on something more powerful than you and watch a story of His glory be told. Sometimes what brings Him the greatest glory won’t be in healing you, but it may come from drawing in just one more witness to the hand of God being leaned on and lifted up.

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Braving Trust

Understanding trust gives us words to say, ‘here’s my struggle and why I can’t rely on you’. Trust is a huge word with tons of weight around it.

There are common, quiet thoughts in our mind about trust that often go unspoken because we’re not really sure on how to sort through the vowels and verbs to make any sense of it. Researcher Brene Brown has a gift with dissecting and then organizing human connection. (Her bestsellers are worth buying; you’ll want to highlight, dog ear and pull these pages from the shelf to share.) Recently, she spliced open the anatomy of trust. Here are a few notes I’ve taken on the way we trust.

trust, brene brown, anatomy of trust, trishakeehn.comTrust is built in small, seemingly insignificant moments. It’s built when we ask for help and someone is there to lend a hand. Anytime we’re scared, there’s an opportunity for someone to build trust with us.

These same moments available for trust building are also available for betrayal. When we choose *not* to connect when the opportunity is there, this silent trust turns into betrayal.

Dr. Brown says that trust is really ‘braving’ connection with people.

B.R.A.V.I.N.G.

Here’s how she breaks down the acronym.

Boundaries: Trust is built when you are clear about your boundaries and you hold to them. I must also be clear about my own and expect you to respect them.

Reliability: Trust is built when you do what you say you are going to do. And not just once. We need to do what we say we are going to do over and over and over again. That’s what builds trust.

We also have to be clear on our limitations so we don’t take on so much that we come up short and can’t deliver on our commitments. Acceptance of these limitations from you and me is vital to trust.

Accountability: Trust is built when you make a mistake and are able to own it, apologize for it and make amends. When I make a mistake, trust is built when I am able to own it, apologize for it and make amends for it.

Vault: Trust is built when what I share with you, you hold in confidence. And what you share with me, I hold in confidence. We both need to see that confidentiality with others is acknowledged in our conversations with each other.Brene Brown, anatomy of trust, braving connection, trust, trishakeehn.com

You cannot share things that are not yours to share as a way to hot-wire connection with a friend. Your closeness cannot be built on talking bad about other people. Common enemy intimacy is built on hating the same people. That’s counterfeit trust. That’s not real.

Integrity: Act from a place of integrity and encourage me to do the same thing. This builds trust. Choosing courage over comfort. What’s right over what’s fun, fast or easy. Practicing your values, and not just professing them.

Non-judgment: Trust is built when I can fall apart and struggle and ask for help without being judged by you. And conversely, you can fall apart and struggle and ask for help without being judged by me.

We are generally better at helping people than asking for help. Yet, if you can’t ask for help and I cannot ask, then this is not a trusting relationship. There’s a temptation to assign value to your help. You may determine your worth based on how you’re helping someone. Or perhaps you think less of yourself if you need the help. However, if you think less of yourself for needing help, then when you offer to help someone else, you will think less of them too. We cannot get value from being a helper in a relationship. This is not your worth.

Generosity: It’s only a trusting relationship if you can assume the most generous positive thoughts about what my intentions and behaviors are doing and what my words are saying, and then check in with me. So if I screw up and say something or forget something, you will make a generous, positive assumption. As opposed to guarding your heart from me or ignoring my calls or efforts.

Here’s the catch to trust. We cannot trust others if we don’t first trust ourselves.

brave, trust, dictionary bravery, trishakeehn.com, self-trustOne of the biggest casualties with heartbreak, disappointment and failure is is not the loss of trust with other people but the loss of self-trust.

In my own life (Trisha speaking here), Brown’s definitions have breathed new life into my ‘brave’. Past breakups and frustrations have kept my decisions locked in a cage of self reflection and doubt that I could trust myself anymore to make better choices.

If braving relationships with other people is braving connection, then braving self-trust is braving self-love and self-respect.

If you can’t count on yourself, you can’t ask other people to give you what you don’t have. You have to start with self-trust.

Maya Angelou puts it this way, ‘I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me ‘I love you’. There’s an African proverb that says, ‘Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt’.

If you struggle with trust, examine first your own self-trust and how you treat yourself. You can’t ask people to give to you what you don’t believe you’re worthy of receiving. You will know you are worthy of receiving trust when you trust yourself above everyone else.