Finding Love In The Loneliness

A few months ago I moved into a neighborhood, alone, nowhere near my existing friendships and as you can imagine I started to experience a loneliness in my heart. Several friends suggested online dating, while others offered countless opportunities to volunteer. I grimaced at the thought that God would be glorified in an attempt to fill my brokenness where God longs to make me whole.

Deep down, feeling ‘alone’ is uncomfortable. We desire relationships because that is what God created us for. However, I believe there is an even deeper connection we find in God that relieves our longing, it quenches the soul. Oftentimes, we try to put people in a position only God can hold. We jump from relationship to relationship or sometimes attempt to drown our lives in many relationships at the same time to avoid the deeper pain of being alone.  And truth be told, we attract what we are, meaning brokenness will attract the broken and then all we’re left with is one broken relationship. 

There’s something sweet God gives us in the quietness of our day and I believe it’s that restoration of fullness that forms the foundation we need to build all those other things on. When I’m still, there’s a refreshment that comes from His presence, a tenderness in His comfort, a peace that calms every longing and a joy that soothes my desires. It’s through these moments that I’ve recognized all else will eventually fade in this life, but God Is… Was… and Will Be always there. When the Rock is my everything, I am comfortable with the ‘uncomfortable’, I have strength in my ‘weakness’, a deeper love in my ‘loneliness’ and I’m confident in ‘just being’ where He has me.

I like this quote, “singleness is a calling, not a status”… even if it’s for just a season in life.

More Than A Job, It’s About the Journey

There was a time I packed up my car and drove hundreds of miles on a word from God that there was a job awaiting me. There were no openings and over several months God brought many interview opportunities my way. 

Today I have a new job and it’s not in the place God called me to a year ago. But I still believe in what He told me. You see, perhaps it was never about actually getting that job as it was about the journey there. Some serious pursuit, passion and patience went into His call. My faith and hope in following God into the unknown, even when it didn’t look like my version, seemed mostly crazy by friends and family. Maybe all along, it was about increasing my hope, stretching my faith, trusting in God, growing my pursuit in His calling, than it ever was about the final destination. And maybe even the ‘let down’ of never actually getting that job wasn’t really a let down at all. Maybe it was about still having faith to follow God, even if… His leading didn’t look like mine.

And I learned one more thing in that journey. I spent more time anticipating and daydreaming about the future, that I missed out on enjoying the daily adventures getting there. I had a tunnel vision focus on the result and missed opportunities of joy in the ‘here and now’. I think it’s interesting that we so often want to know God’s plan for us, but the truth is, we’d sit in anticipation for ‘tomorrow’ and miss out on today.

A Cloud By Day

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The forecast said it would rain all day. I still packed my running shoes and I prayed it wouldn’t even sprinkle during my walk today. The sky was a darker shade of gray when I stepped out, so I prayed a little harder as I started my journey. Then, all of sudden, the cloud cover seemed to open in one spot, just over my head. And it continued to follow me for 4-miles. And I started to think on God’s presence as a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night for the Israelites (Exodus 13:21). It reminded me that His presence is always hovering over and around us day in and day out. God protects His children and He is with us where ever we may go.

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The Limit of our Enemy

Sometimes we forget that Satan has his limits. As I read in Job, God offers up Job to be tested, but puts limits on the extent of the enemy’s hand. And I think we forget that not only is the devil limited ‘with’ his deception, but he’s limited ‘in’ his deception.

Have you ever noticed it’s generally the same sins that trip us up each time we stumble? The sin at its root is the same, but it comes with a different name or in a different place. You see, the devil sees what we see. He knows when he’s got a hold in our lives over a particular temptation or issue. He knows that ‘one thing’ that touches our heart the most. And while we run to Jesus in remorse after a great fall, the devil keeps his sleeves rolled up and pursues us again and again in the area we are ‘weakest’.

There are times we may claim victory over an instance we successfully avoided. But we forget, the devil doesn’t stop pursuing us. He lays dormant, watching and waiting for another weak moment, crouching around the corner of ‘opportunity’ and ‘circumstance’. And if we’re not alert or guarding our hearts, we find ourselves buried in a string of excuses for how we got so close to the lion in the first place. Each step seems legitimate in and of itself, but the timing and the culmination of the walk ends up repeating the past. Remember this, there’s nothing new or unique about that deception of the enemy outlined in scripture. He knows our weaknesses and he will attack those deeply rooted sins of our heart for a lifetime. He’ll come from every angle to tear the children of God down. We’ve got to wisen up; own our weaknesses and guard our hearts. We’ve got to recognize that one victory doesn’t win the war.

All Consuming Fire, A Blaze Of Love

O, what a wonderful God we serve. He seeks to love on us from the rising of the sun to the laying down of our heads and is ever faithful, drawing us continually into His court of peace and joy. Our Lord sees the needs and yearnings in our deepest parts and rejoices in the deliverance He knows and prepares to come. What a gracious Father, what a glorious Savior we have access to every day! I am overwhelmed by His kindness…

Sometimes we can get caught up in a day’s worries and forget that God is longing to bring us some real joy and waits patiently to comfort and restore a worn out soul. This morning as I neared the end of my workout, I started to feel the burden of a to-do list looming. As I called out to God for some direction, the Spirit pressed upon this dear heart with a different plan. I found myself at the door of Cracker Barrel, asking for a table for one. At 10 a.m., the store was packed with Saturday morning couples and families and a line behind me started to form as I waited for the next available seat. A waitress came to the entrance with a ‘follow me’ motion. I eagerly trailed behind expecting we would end up at a small, table-for-two setting in some remote corner or possibly packed in the middle of several larger tables. But that was not God’s plan for me today.

The waitress stopped in front of its massively blazing fireplace at a table for four (or six) and said ‘here you are’. I was stunned. ‘Here? At the head of this restaurant packed with parties clearly bigger than my own, with a magnificent view, at a table fit for a queen… this is where you’re seating me, Lord?’ In that moment, my heart felt the beat of His loving heart and the warmth of His mighty embrace… my heart was humbled and I wanted to fall on my knees right there and proclaim ‘I’m not worthy… I’m not worthy, for a seat at the head table.’ The Spirit consumed my heart and said ‘my daughter, my love, you are worthy and I want you seated with me at the head table… come join me.’

I took my place, facing the fiery blaze that filled up the room with such perfect warmth. I heard the flames roar and crackle as I watched the fire rise and fall and God spoke out ‘My heart is a blaze that roars with such passionate love for you my child. I am the all-consuming fire that burns deep within your soul. I do not fade or grow cold.’

In that moment, I felt chosen… by the King of Kings. And my heart was even more humbled, by the pouring out of His love and affection, that He would even take the time to sit with me, revealing His heart, touching the bottom of mine. What beauty our God shares with us when we stop bearing self-imposed burdens and allow His Spirit to speak a new plan into our lives. Our God always has the time. He seeks out daily for opportunities to spend with us and waits patiently for the yearning of our hearts to turn toward Him… just so He can love on us… and reveal a brighter, lighter yoke than what our finite minds could ever comprehend.

O, my Lord, my God, you alone are worthy of my praise. You are so worthy! Your love surrounds me daily, and I am but a beggar for more, in desperate need of your presence. Thank you for who you are; the Author, the Creator, The Beginning and The End! Praise you my God, you are so good to me! 

Song of Songs 8:6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

2 Chronicles 7:3 When all the Israelites saw the fire coming down and the glory of the Lord above the temple, they knelt on the pavement with their faces to the ground, and they worshiped and gave thanks to the Lord, saying, “He is good; his love endures forever.”

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Our Riches Are All The Same

This morning while in line at Starbucks, a very corporate looking man in front of me presented a $100 bill to the barista at the till in hopes that the register could make change for his $3 coffee. Time began to pass as the store was having a hard time scraping up enough money to make change. With my pocket book in hand, I stepped forward and offered up five $20 bills to the gentleman in exchange for his one large bill.

 

What dawned on me in that moment was that our ‘riches’ were the same. Sure his looked different than mine- this guy had a really big bill and mine were each pretty small in comparison, but standing at the register, all that mattered was the total and we had exactly the same amount.

 

I thought about this in terms of the ‘riches’ we offer to God. Many of us don’t have one really big ministry or large leading to offer, but we do have smaller deposits we’re making every day. And when we step up to ‘the till’ or Heaven’s gate, it doesn’t matter if we present  one really big offering or several smaller stories dedicated to the devotion of our Lord, because in God’s eyes, it all equals the same!

Solitude

Henri Nouwen called solitude… “the furnace of transformation.” This doesn’t refer to mere personal privacy for a twelve- second pit stop where we get a quick fix to reenter the race. It’s more than that. It’s an oasis of the soul where we see ourselves, others, and especially God in new ways. It’s where much of the “clutter” of life is identified and exterminated, thanks to the merciless heat of the “furnace.” Soul surgery transpires as serenity replaces anxiety.

In solitude, struggles occur that no one else knows about. Inner battles are fought here that seldom become fodder for sermons or illustrations for books. God, who probes our deepest thoughts during protracted segments of solitude, opens our eyes to things that need attention. It is here He makes us aware of those things we try to hide from others.- Charles Swindoll, “Intimacy with the Almighty”

No Fear of Failure

When will we ever learn that there are no hopeless situations, only people who have grown hopeless about them? What appears as an unsolvable problem to us is actually a rather exhilarating challenge. People who inspire others are those who see invisible bridges at the end of dead-end streets. Whether your circumstance is a relationship or a job, be inspired to continue hoping and persevere!

“The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, but the righteous are bold as a lion.” -Proverbs 28:1

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” – Romans 5:3-4

God’s Plan For Hope

For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

God knows, right down to the final nub, exactly where you are in life. He sees. He cares. He is aware. And best of all, He is touched by it.

The enemy of our souls wants you to think differently. ‘God doesn’t care. He’s left you in this mess for so many months. How unfair! Those around you, those at work, your neighbors, live like the devil, and they’re making it fine. And here you don’t even have a job. You don’t even have enough to cover the credit card bills. What kind of God is that?

Or maybe some young mother-to-be, stretched to the limit already with other young children and crushing responsibilities, cries out in her heart, ‘My situation is more than I can bear!’ And God replies, “My daughter, I know what I am doing. I know the pain of your heart right now. I know you feel overwhelmed, overloaded, pressed down. But believe Me, I am touched with your situation. And I have a plan! I am working out the details of your deliverance even now. Trust Me!”

-Charles Swindoll; Moses, A Man of Selfless Dedication

Lane Changer

As I was driving to work, I realized halfway there that I hadn’t changed lanes once since merging into the morning rush traffic. In fact, I couldn’t even recall the cars that may have passed by or those that fell behind. In this, I also noticed the impatient beat in my heart that drives that kind of lane-changing behavior was missing.

And God spoke in that moment, showing me that when my eyes are fixed straight ahead on the lane or path He has me in, my mind will not get distracted by who may be passing me by or what others are doing. When I’m not looking to the right or left at all the options or ‘opportunities’ to get ahead, my heart is at peace in the lane He has me in. (Deuteronomy 5:32)

With my eyes fixed on the narrow path God put me on, my mind isn’t consumed with whether I made it there faster or slower than others or what open lanes of opportunity I may have missed. When my focus is steadily straight ahead in The Way, I’m not even distracted by what others did in the lanes God placed them in. When I finally reach my destination, joy and peace exude from my heart; which ultimately is what I yearn for and thus has set the pace for the rest of this path He has me on. (Psalm 84:2) (Psalm 29:11) (Psalm 34:14) (John 14:6)