“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24
Gathered around tables of sweets, surrounded by a sea of success, my mind was stuck swirling over a speechless performance just hours before; which sounds outstanding until I mention it was me, the deliverer, who was left on that stage speechless. At the conclusion of a 3-day conference, all I could think about was my failure to deliver what I was sure God had anointed me with.
What do you do when you know you are equipped and have more than enough to get the job done but you show up empty handed? The mercy here is that I was in front of an audience overflowing with grace when it happened.
Now sitting in a pool of tears at the reminder of my humiliation, I wondered why He hadn’t shown up.
I trusted Him with the stage and He gave me silence.
Sitting in my room now at the midnight hour, with a flight scheduled to leave late the next day, I continued to question, where are you, God?
Leaving room for an interruption (in other words, the divine appointment to make new friends), I had purposefully paid more for an afternoon ticket because I expected God to intervene with some last minute adventure.
At this point, you’re probably wondering, why in the world would you rely on the mystery of some random encounter? Welcome to my life. God has been doing it for years. So at this point, I plan on them.
It’s late. My emotions are tossing every bit of faith out the window at this hour. The control freak in me is consuming every thought.
“Hello? I changed my mind. I want to change my departure time tomorrow and leave as soon as possible. Change fee? That’s fine. Please book it.”
Tossing and turning through the night, I woke up with the same questions, Lord, I trusted you. Why didn’t you come through?
Though I was tempted to roll over in scenarios the moon lit up the darkness again, God gripped my soul with power in His Word, He who calls you is faithful. He did it before and He’ll do it again.
Stinging tears became a soothing shower of affection streaming over my face.
The healing in God’s spirit comforted mine and captivated the focus from my frustration to His faithfulness.
So by this time, I’m rolling a suitcase into the lobby in search of someone to share a lift with me. In this moment, two women walked out the doors looking to split the cab fare as well.
Juggling a terrible tasting, lukewarm cup of coffee during our trip to the airport, my attention was caught up in these writer’s experiences about being signed to agents, with book deals under their belt. My questions weren’t keeping up with the curiosity and racing excitement, as our cab driver maneuvered up to the curb and stopped his meter.
And at this point in the weekend journey, I had concluded that even when we fail, He still prevails.
He is surely… still… faithful.
But you didn’t think God was done at this juncture in the story, did you? I’m not home just yet.
Handling a better tasting cup of coffee this time as I found my seat on the plane, I began to jot down in my journal all kinds of aftermath thoughts in the wake of enlightenment from my two new writer friends. Passengers began to make their way down the aisle as my attention faded in and out of a mashup of conversations until my ears caught the voice behind me say she was heading home to Nashville from a conference.
Hey! That’s my town. This is my chance!
Turning around I introduced myself and asked if she would like to get coffee sometime to debrief over the whirlwind of workshops.
My heart was quick to skip over the beat of humiliation as she introduced herself as one of the speakers on staff with the conference ministry. She travels the country delivering messages at gatherings like this she said. My eagerness pounced at the opportunity to learn from her experience.
Walking through the threshold of home, sweet home, a smile stretched across my face at the faithfulness of God. My bags were stuffed with names of new friends, notebooks spilling out with wisdom, yet He was able to fit a few more surprises in there.
Looking back I have concluded maybe I didn’t fail at all. The story He wants us to tell is the one we’re living, with our mistakes covered in His faithfulness. Yes, that is the only one worth sharing.
He is faithful. He is faithful.