A Man’s Worth

30 minutes in I realized just how long it had been since my friend and I shared a table together. And I also noticed how the discussion had shifted back to me quite frequently. He stayed at the surface of his story about financials and friends. It was obvious he was dodging until I pressed into the personal parts, like relationships and dating.

“The truth is you are a good person and she is a good person and your dinner together was a culmination of two really great people coming to the table with charming souls to share,” I suggest. He is stunned by the honesty in this statement and we stare as these bittersweet morsels sink in.

She told him she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Those words shatter a man’s self-esteem with rejection.

My friend doesn’t want to accept a variable equation where good plus good includes carry overs to help us grow; he expects these exchanges to equal happily ever after.

“Don’t let the lack of her readiness speak rejection over your soul,” my voice whispers through the noise. “Look at me and hear these words, you are worthy. She is worthy, and she is not ready to receive that.”

Before he can salute this sage suggestion, I credit the man who simultaneously broke and mended my heart with these words.

Grasping to accept the brutal and beautiful truth, we stew over our menu. Or at least I was. In the silence, his heart was souring in light of my certainty.

Looking up from the insert of specials, I ask if he knows what he wants.

“What women want is a man who treats them less than they deserve,” he gathers.

It is clear bitterness has barged in offering a menu with some bite.

“Don’t go there,” I say. “Some women settle for less than they deserve.  It is a lost battle with self-esteem.”

The taste of a woman’s sabotage is pungent for a goodhearted man to hear, mostly to men like my friend, who have protected purity because of what he believes; she is the beauty and he is the beast.

He stares at his plate and stabs the Caesar salad with his fork, “it doesn’t make sense and now I don’t know what to do.”

Sadly, I’m afraid I stirred up more confusion in this conversation than where his convictions led him before dinner was served.

Buried beneath the bewilderment, I can see he is scared. He spent seven years waiting on a woman he concluded was ‘the one’. And now she’s not. The painful admission of his past associates his responsibility with her integrity; his willingness to stay with her decision to walk away.

We’re on to the main course as he finally cuts into the slice of sirloin and baked potato, “I just don’t know if I can wait on someone like that again.”

Contentment has been the centerpiece of this conversation, with self-esteem and pride dipping and dodging around the table to get a clearer view.

As a woman with more remorse than respect for the way she’s treated a man, I must say to you now, what she couldn’t say then.

The way your heart loves generously is how Christ loved the Church. Your words stir more healing and forgiveness than burden with hurt. Your reflection encourages the hopeless; your hand gives joy to the homeless. Your subtle strength to protect souls over sharing their stories is simply admirable. I see a man still mounted on his horse while blazing through his own battles. Yes, I see you clearly; a man after God’s own heart. I am in awe of you, and I’m scared.

If I accept your love, then I too must acknowledge God’s mercy. But my struggles are still in me and I’m just not ready. I don’t know when the slate of my soul will feel clear, yet having you wait is my greatest fear.

The tone in my voice grates through a generous wedge of his reality and shreds the truth into bite-size helpings he can digest.

Her fight with the former is not meant for his medal of honor in the future. She must find the bravery to face these mistakes in her own timeline.

Though every prince wants the privilege to gallop in on Goliath, every princess must stir up strength to stand and slay her own struggles.

And my friend, well, he must stand guard over his own heart, and silence the voices sizing up a prince’s value with the world’s vision of what it means for a man and woman to be apart.

Why We Go To Church

Jesus is the Captain, Jesus at the stern, Jesus can navigate your boat, Jesus can calm the storms, trishakeehn.comWe don’t go to church when we have it all together.

We go to church when we need answers… direction, and clarity, healing, and breakthroughs, money, and deliverance.

Whatever you’re searching for in this life, I promise you Jesus is at the stern. He can speak to your storm.

We all face a sea of decisions, fear and even regret. And for a little while, you may believe that all the patchwork in your own power is enough to hold things together until another storm crashes into the seams, where things are a little weaker than before.

It doesn’t matter how big the sea is or how much skill you have, you will not reach the other side of it without Jesus.

Don’t Get Comfortable

Want to know where your time went? Examine your focus. From your focus comes the overflow of a soul.

Society has taken a celebration of the birth of Christ and made this joyful event an overwhelming season. Stores flash more signs and sales, while bank accounts dress in red during this time of year.

We become stretched for time with longer lists; parties, presents, people to see, place to go. Distracted from the root reason for all the ribbons and lights, our heart begins to harden. Our spirit craves being still but lacks the self-control to say ‘no’.

This isn’t an ‘us’ against ‘them’ phenomenon. We’ve contributed to the chaos over the years and now here we are wanting to step out.

J. Krishnamurti, trishakeehn.com, healthy soul, don't adjust to society, sick society, Christmas rush, overwhelmed at Christmas

Fervent Prayer

prayer, prayer warrior, coffeepot heating up means my prayers are heating up, trishakeehn.com

Once you’ve tasted the bold, intense flavors of ferocious, fervent prayer, the blandness of living with anything less than this intimacy with God is almost more than you can stand.

Prayer sweetens the taste in your mouth where bitterness and unforgiveness have soured your appetite for spiritual things. And the morsels of your praise and petitions melt the heart of God.

Jesus wants you free to bless and encourage others, so that you can receive and celebrate His goodness. Don’t wait until the battle breaks out to surrender in prayer.

May the sound of your coffeepot heating up be the warning ringing out in hell that your prayers are just getting started. ‪#‎fervent‬

The Gift You Long For

Everything seems urgent at this time of year and expectations tell us all the going and doing is very important.

The calendar controls our time but we’re so overwhelmed to even realize this pressure is the pulse driving whether we keep up or stay ahead. ‘Rush’ repurposes peace into a chaotic Christmas story we tell around the tree through short tempers and careless thinking.

It’s a time to celebrate, but walking into a worship service even reminds me of work; people I haven’t had a breath to get back to. It’s been so long since our schedules have seen some blank spaces that plotting out this dreamy word peace feels like a burden.

We’re being robbed, my friend. The onslought of life’s pressures have started to dominate and define us.

Some of it isn’t even bad. We might be wrapped up in so many seemingly good things, like our jobs, the church, charities yet at the end of the day we still don’t have our peace and quiet.

It feels like we’re slaves here.

Enter Exodus. The second book in the bible. The Israelites were bossed around by taskmasters all day and night. They were slaves to the demands and saying ‘no’ wasn’t an option.

It’s as if this ancient, living Word just ripped a page out of my daily planner and planted the story near the beginning of the book because the Author knew someone who needed this kind of message didn’t have much time to dig any deeper… should even an hour in the day open up to get this far.

Back to the book, even though God sends Moses to free these people from the physical demands, their minds were stuck in a slave mentality. The Israelites didn’t know what it looked like to stop or pause from work.

slaves to schedules, slaves aren't in charge, slaves have no control, the clock controls slaves, work controls slaves, trishakeehn.comGod has sent a way to relieve us from the tension. We’re just not choosing it. If there’s a cancellation on our calendar, it becomes open season.

The thought of deliberately choosing rest around this time of year feels almost unthinkable – family is flying in or you’re flying out, kids have written out their wish lists, parties are being planned and friends are expecting you to be there – because it all lands on people who still think the way a slave thinks.

The enemy will tell you that sketching out even a half inch margin around this to-do list is impossible. When you decide to permanently mark peace into your plans, the enemy will use friends and family to jab at your choice, compare their life with yours and say that you’re selfish with your time.

Since when did other people determine your worth? Busyness has never been declared a badge of honor in the realms of what matters most. Working more will never earn you favor in the eyes of what’s really important.

So why is it so difficult to press pause on the pressure? Mostly because you’ve been bullied into thinking it’s up to you to protect your reputation. You’ve become motivated by the fear of failure so insecurity has you pushing harder to achieve ‘big’ things and impress other people.

You could be intimidated by the quiet places because it feels less important there, so you pick up the torch of self-reliance to accomplish something. May I suggest it could have something to do with your kids and being obedient to their beck and call?

Slaves don’t control the clock; the work controls them.freedom, standing firm, yoke of slavery, Galatians 5:1, slavery, trishakeehn.com

If your devoted time with God has been replaced over a period of time, you’ve diminished power in the present because you lost your allegiance to the one thing that’s most important.

Our culture continues to spin this merry-go-round of achievement, production, and results faster and faster, but the answer isn’t to keep up. No, the solution is to step off.

It is for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

The fear of what others will say or think about your ‘no’ is straight up from the enemy.

If you aren’t claiming your time, someone else will. There is a serious battle for your contentment, your peace, your rest, your health, even your ability to worship attentively. The enemy will use whatever leverage he can get a grasp on take away your freedom and satisfaction in Christ, your trust in God and your availability to move at the invitation of our Author’s perfectly timed will.

We are not here to be slaves to schedules. You don’t need to keep hustling. You’ve already received approval from the only One whose approval really matters. His value IS your value.

your values, who you are, God wants good things for you, trishakeehn.comGod doesn’t want something from you. He wants something for you. Your value is not in what you do but in who you are.

You deserve to live at your best in every area of life so start with focusing prayers on getting free from the pressure.

God will send the Spirit’s power to help you gain control of your day by creating quiet corners that anchor the intersection of chaos and God’s best.

Declare some boundaries based on your devotion to this place of peace and know that everything else will ultimately benefit by your clearer focus.

Surrendering your schedule to rest cultivates a calm spirit so that your words spring from a well filled with joy and love. Your walk will be guided by patience with people, instead strain and stress. Your body will wake up renewed and ready to start again tomorrow.

In your effort to practice more peace this year, you may not have presents for everyone under the tree. More mail may come in than cards going out. Friends might have to wait until January to see you again.

Sometimes it’s not what you carry in your hands that will have impact with people. It might be what’s in your heart that leaves an impression.

As I type out these final thoughts, the hair stylist is wrapping my hair up in foils because these are the very few silent moments I have left to write. I’ve struggled with being stretched during this season. My faithfulness to rest has been less than honorable.

My hope is to find this place of peace so that I may be fully present with loved ones in the following days. My prayer is to leave the season feeling more satisfied than any pretty paper or package could ever offer.

Courage Can Be Quiet

courage, marriage, dream, job, commitmentHappy Anniversary, Mom and Dad! Today, I celebrate the courage behind 35 years of marriage with this couple.

Through the hardship and pain, they continued to choose life together over the path alone.

I learned that loving other things in life more than two people love each other only leads to hardened hearts. There’s an intersection in this road; I’m glad they chose to turn right.

I’ve witnessed moments when choices led to let downs and the conclusion of an argument was the slamming of a door; walls will repeat whatever you put into the atmosphere, for days.

The dollars didn’t always come in like they were supposed to, and sometimes we were counting pennies to stretch what we had.

Some of life’s greatest injustices happened here in this sphere of love, like becoming parents of four children, who now have only three.

It’s these two hearts and four hands that have made my green eyes to see that love is always the answer.

Courage isn’t perfect. That’s what I learned.

If given the choice, courage will stay standing when others sit down. Courage rushes in when others are walking out. Courage will look for a window of opportunity when every door has closed.

Understanding what it takes to hold life together isn’t my story to tell. Yet, here is a testimony of what courage behind commitment looks like.

After 35 years, most of the tears trickling down their cheeks come out of laughter and several times a day, you will find one reaching out a hand for the other (mostly Dad! Men are a mess without a good woman.).

 

Shine

 

shine, matthew 5:16, be the light, trishakeehn.com

You are beautiful. And to be beautiful every day means to be yourself. You are uniquely created in the image of a beautiful artist.

Simply stunning and crafted with an extraordinary soul… Let your light dazzle us today. Keep shining, Beautiful.

(Matthew 5:16) #bethelight

If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. -Eckhart Tolle

Hope During The Holiday

City of Lights, Paris, Hope, trishakeehn.comIt’s tough to celebrate when others are suffering. Sometimes the best way we can help those who hurt is simply by not forgetting.

The holidays bring out the busy in most of us and it’s hard to stop in these moments to reflect, remember and pray for other people.

A beacon for the City of Lights hovers over Hope on my tree. It’s my reminder to pray. Though fear wins a battle, Love and Hope win the war.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Born To Love

Did you know that fear is a learned trait? You were born in the image of Love, so your natural reaction is actually to love.
 
love, stay close to love, God's love will not fail youThen life happens and you learn how to fear moments, people, and perhaps most of all when there is ‘nothing’ happening at all.
 
When you look for easy ways out of the struggle or make excuses for struggling at all, you’re reacting out of fear.
 
Once you train the mind to respond with fear, it takes effort to overcome the thought of a threat with faith. Faith that God’s word is true; He will never fail you or leave you, but guide you through the darkest of days.
 
In the face of heartache and pain, He is on your side and that’s all you need. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Ps. 23:6)
 
Consciously choose love. You were born for it.