Category Archives: Friends and Family

Friends and family can be our greatest strength and most critical opponent. They often challenge us and hold our actions accountable to the best they see in us. Who you let into your life and close to your heart is extremely important to the person you will become.

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The Dream Team

Accomplishing a dream isn’t just about how we spend each day but also with whom we’re spending it.

Everyone needs a dream team. A team of people you dream with; a core community who encourages dreams into reality.

I believe who we surround our life with reflects what we believe about our own heart. Who they are, is who we will also become.

“He who walks with wise men will be wise.” Proverbs 13:20

It is okay to be selfish and hang around people who will make you better.

Pruning off relationships that are not adding to your life is essential to pushing through the problems and pressing into the promise.2015-03-04 15.20.09

It’s easy for my days to become unfocused, distracted, and wasted. Yet, I have responsibility to use my time wisely. So I hand-selected wisdom as accountability, while I hustle out the details of my dream.

Together, we expect breakthroughs and snafu’s. We climb the mountains side by side, and scout new horizons ahead.

2015-03-04 15.25.37We’re the high-five waiting after a cleared hurdle and a strong hand reaching out through the struggle. We speak sunrises into the storms and cast vision and victory into perceived defeat.

Everybody is dealing with something. There will be things that frustrate you, things you don’t understand.

We can’t see God’s best if our team is weak. Evaluate your inner circle and who you’re investing in. Get the right people in your life. Those seeds you sow will create the harvest you need that will not only take you out of the valley—It will lead you to a new level.

2015-03-04 15.30.41You need a crew to help you navigate uncharted territory. You need aviators to co-pilot the rise out of ruins.

When you have a great team, no matter where you are in life, no matter what comes against you, you won’t be alone. You will not be forgotten. The star of the team, God, remembers you. He never forgets the dreams He’s put on the inside.

Stack the deck of your dream team and prepare to soar into your destiny.

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Cultivating Calm Among the Christmas Chaos

Whoooosh!

A cold breeze blows by and bites the skin with a bitter, rushing reminder; it’s the season of cluttered calendars followed by scrambling steps just trying to keep up.

There’s a stream of shoppers scurrying with frantic concern to check off a list that is only growing longer.

The inbox and mailbox multiply with messages by the minute; invites, greetings and the lure to splurge on one last spending spree.

Anything slow-moving or stopping is a buoy to weave around.

Pressing the peddle just to keep up, this speed increases now by the second, beyond limits that are warning to slow down; signs of a sneeze and sniffle, or worse, the numbing compassion for an unshaved man sitting on the corner with his newspapers in hand trying to make a dollar for the day.

At Christmas, it feels like there are no seconds to spare to silence a restless soul.

The beats of my heart tick with urgency to cross off a competing list for attention and tock with a wrestling soul caught up in distracting demands. My prayers grow heavy and deep; the tears wet with sorrow that I’m not just living in the world anymore, but have become the world.

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 131:1 NIV

How can we cultivate a calm, quiet, peaceful soul that lives at rest in the swirl of insanity that encompasses Christmas? King David figured it out.

Make peace the desire of your heart.

When life gets busy, it’s easy for our emotions to get trapped in a timetable tornado plotted out in people, parties, and plans. Recognize the hurricane of hurriedness and ask yourself, How is my soul? Am I at rest? Do I have peace? Is there a quiet heart here? Earnestly pray for this peace.

Worship where you are.

Do you want a quiet Christmas spirit? The starting place is to get into position. To find sanity and clarity for his soul, King David set the world aside and worshipped the majesty of God.

The hand of Peace quiets the restless heart. His breath calms an aching spirit. He is the sure and steadfast anchor in swirling soul, a hope that can pierce the innermost place. His arms of peace wrap around every pain and rein in the racing thoughts.

In His warm embrace, find a place with no agenda. Of all things in the universe, you are the object of His obsession and designed to crave time with the Maker. This is where contentment is kept. When we abandon the world’s fractured appointments and embrace His calm and quiet spirit, the companionship of our Creator quenches this thirst for rest and frees an enslaved soul.how to cultivate a quiet soul

Relinquish control.

I have a tendency in the midst of my turmoil to take matters into my own hands. I struggle with the pressure of pride, It’s up to me. I’ve got to do something about this. I’m going to get it done. I’ve got to work it out. I’ve got to handle it. I’ve got to take care of it.

The only safe and sane place to be is in surrender, yielding all control, ambitions, dreams, and desires to a God who stitched your soul and is still seated on the throne over creation. God, I trust that you have my best interest in mind. This is what peaceful, healthy living feels like on the inside.

Realize you’re not in control. You’re not in charge and ultimately, you’re not dictating your days. God has numbered the days. I may make my plans but the Lord directs my steps. Release the stress of trying to control the uncontrollable.

Keep Christ the center focus.

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. 3 John 1:2

We did not earn God’s love, we were born into it. This relationship with God is not on worth, it’s by birth. Like a child in its mother’s arms, my soul is calm and quiet because I am content in who God is and the royal family image I am sewn in.

Sometimes the unsettling of a soul comes from living out of other people’s perception of who you should be, how your hours should be spent or even, how you want to be perceived by peers. But the truth is we cannot occupy ourselves with everything that offers itself to us. We are stewards of our own soul. We must set limits and the boundary lines that cultivate the calm and quiet soul.

Heavenly Father, Almighty God… You are my desire in the midst of all the craziness surrounding Christmas. Cradle my soul like a weaned child, so I can experience and enjoy the embrace of my Father. As I tackle the traffic, run my errands, and finish these last few days of work, soothe the ache of being rushed when I’d rather be still with you.

When the demands increase and the noise gets louder, may a collision with Christ in your soul change the world instead of the world altering you.

If you are struggling with the stress of this Christmas season, I pray you discover profound peace and the calm that quiets your spirit. May God spark a fire of unshakable joy in the small spaces salvaged for your stretched soul. May the Lord infuse clarity and sanity in this place. May He nurture the heart in you that is steadfast and sold out for His people. May your eyes stay open and your mind looking for ways to engage those hurting around you.

May we all be reminded often this holiday season to remain committed to connecting others with Jesus. May you live from a genuine, and authentic spirit, devoted to the design God dreamed of in you.

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Reconcile Every Relationship

One of my dearest friends today is my ex-husband.

I don’t have words to describe the pain I’ve felt in the awareness of my faults that led to our separation but I can tell you what Jesus asked me to do next.

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24

Reconciliation doesn’t mean you rush into the room, yell, “I’m sorry!” and run away… it means a relationship.

I took responsibility for ripping us apart and acknowledged the pain I put him in. I asked for forgiveness in hopes that his hurting heart could begin to heal.

He and I don’t have children together. We don’t work together nor do we live in the same town. BUT, reconciliation means every relationship!

As believers, we don’t realize how much the enemy plays a part in setting up roadblocks to reconciliation, in hopes that we will continue living a life of excuses, instead of one that radiates love and forgives everyone, as He forgave us.

What does this look like for you? Who do you need to seek out and help in the healing process? Not because you have to, but because God wants you to. Where does your heart need to reconcile?

Father God, you see our hearts and know the truths we’ve been hiding from. Those we’ve been running from. Reveal the relationships that need reconciling in our lives. Soften our spirit to accept what you’ve asked us to do. Give us strength to walk through the pain and accept responsibility with no more excuses. I ask this in the name of love, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Distinguishing The Distractions

About the time my mind matches my destiny and it seems there’s nothing stopping me from achieving a dream, my eyes fall prey to the allure of ‘everything else’ beckoning for my attention at that exact moment. My drive becomes victim to the demands of a distraction.

Sometimes, my own cunning desires manipulate logic and I wind up doing what others want me to do, even if I have no anointing for it. I leave with immediate gratification, but it later fades and I’m left empty of the lasting joy, peace, rest, and wonderful relationships. This isn’t about deceit, it’s simply defining and dividing out the good things from God’s greatness for me.

Not every diversion from schedules and routines is a distraction; I’m still discovering what is and isn’t. I remember in a sermon, my pastor made a statement, “anything that keeps you from church, is probably not from God.” The church, of course, is not four walls of brick and mortar, but fellow believers. That seemed logical, and an easy way to decipher Sunday interruptions at least.

But what about commitments I make the other six days a week? How do I deem what’s a distraction or actually aiding my efforts in a roundabout way?

The tantalizing trait of temptations is that they feed our flesh and ultimately lead us away from God. Temptations are distractions. Distractions are temptations in disguise.

In order to differentiate the devil’s devices from what is heaven sent, I think I need to evaluate whether I’m getting further away from my relationship with Jesus or coming closer as a result of these activities. Do they bring full-on glory to God or mediocre methods to my own madness?time vs distractions

And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. 1 Corinthians 7:35

And let the beauty and delightfulness and favor of the Lord our God be upon us; confirm and establish the work of our hands-yes, the work of our hands, confirm and establish it. Psalm 90:17

Lead me in the way that I should go, Lord. Strengthen my spirit to discern the difference in these distractions. Help me clear away the clutter so I can clearly see what is worthwhile. Keep my mind steady on the Rock of my salvation and at rest upon your gift of redemption, even when I fall victim to these disturbances. I’m clinging to the promise that you make all things good, all things! Jesus, your grace is all I need. Your grace grace upon grace is all that I breathe.

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Giving Life To Faith

Fresh off of ‘vacation’, I have found myself back to rushing through the day, allowing small frustrations to build up into bigger problems. Today, the last straw came when my pharmacy turned a prescription pick-up into a two day process. With no air conditioning in my car, the temperature in my mind was rising as fast as the heat inside.

I noticed a tire shop nearby. Last week, I had a nail that flattened mine to the rim, when I also realized there was no air in the spare. This seemed like a wise time to fill that up and not entirely waste the 30 minute drive here. I pulled into the garage and popped the trunk. The serviceman starts to laugh as I remove a pair of rollerblades, helmet, overnight bag stuffed with clothes, a bag of recreational equipment, a cooler, blanket and car chalk just to get to the spare underneath.

Now you may think I’m planning for a picnic in the park, but let me just tell you the reason for all this; I simply want to be prepared for a whim. The conversation centered on my skates, when I heard from behind, “Hey, how’s it going?” I turned to see my friend Jeff. We began to talk about my recent trip to Italy but it didn’t take long for the service on the ‘donut’ to be complete. I wrapped up our conversation in favor of a pressing schedule

As I drove away, I realized there was peace in my heart. I knew right then that God had placed my friend there in a time of stress, when I needed connection. ‘What would happen if I blew off the remaining list of to-do’s I was already behind with, and conversed a bit more? What if I set aside my schedule more often in favor of these uplifting exchanges?’ I wondered. Without much hesitation, I turned my car around and rejoined my friend as he waited on his vehicle.

I think it’s quite amazing that if we choose to look outside of our perspective on life, we can see God shifting the sand in our favor. I was late getting to the gym tonight, but I got there with a full spirit instead of one on empty. My soul was no longer burdened with stress but soothed by the conversations with a friend. I felt my confidence restored after I kicked ‘hurry up, you’re late for your schedule’ to the curb. And when I got to the gym, I ran longer and lifted more weights than I set out to. It wasn’t a coincidence; my friend was in the right place at the right time.

Putting action behind your faith requires that you get back up, dust yourself off, and say, “I’m not going to stay down. There’s still time left in the day to turn my heart around.” I encourage you today to let your actions give life to your faith as you step up to new levels of His favor and blessing in your life!

Oh, my gracious God, forgive me for forgetting the favor you give me each day in every circumstance. Thank You for Your Word that builds faith in my heart, thank you for friendships that restore life when I’m down, thank you for your Spirit that refreshes my soul. Open my eyes to the opportunities you are work into my day. I ask for your mighty strength to choose life and action behind this faith I profess. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Where Everybody Knows Your Name

I stepped in with caution and looked to my left. There she was, one of my deepest of friends, waiting patiently with her chin resting in her hands propped up on the table. She jumped up with delight as the smile spread across her face and came running toward the door, thrusting her arms around my neck. Still faint from the journey, my fragile shoulders raised to exchange an embrace. We burst into an explosion of conversation before the coffee was even poured. Stepping up to the register, I hear a familiar voice in the background from behind another counter, ‘hey girl! where have you been?’

Take a trip from home and it isn’t long before we realize how often we take these friendly exchanges for granted. What pleasure can be found in a familiar face and these cordial greetings. The joy is incomparable when we’re in a place where everybody knows your name.

The following day, I attended a work meeting informing leadership about the current state of our scope of work and the projection of where we’re heading. My interest peaked when a fact revealed that many who are homeless or low income visit emergency rooms only because they are lonely and have no one else to talk to. They’re understanding is that it’s a place where someone knows their name and will listen.

The next day while at a luncheon, I met a woman who answers suicide and crisis calls in her line of work. I asked how she handles these situations and if it takes long to take people down from their emotions. She responded, “Really, I just listen most of the time. They are calling because they want someone to just listen and that’s what I’m there for.” She hears repeat callers from time to time because they now know someone will be there when they call.

What if the only place you had to turn for a friend was the ER or a crisis line? Perhaps we already feel this way. We live in a society that is subconsciously disconnecting from each other daily through social media, refraining from exposing too much of the soul, in fear this vulnerability would reveal something we are insecure and ashamed of in ourselves. When emergency strikes, the proverbial veil on this mask we all wear (to some degree) lifts as the beauty of honesty and a naked soul is uncovered. It is in a state of crisis that we reach out and find a friend in anyone who will listen. Are we all just living in a state of emergency?

Before I left for my trip, I stocked up on 30 packets of EmergenC, because I knew I was going into some rough territory, would be in close quarters with people on the plane and in trains, and could possibly be exhausted from the adventures each day. Each morning, I poured 1,000mg of Vitamin C into a glass of water, swallowed the solution and ran out the door. I was resting in my knowledge that a healthy body could keep an emergency away.

There’s no packet of powder you can take that will fill the void of a friend, a familiar face or a listening ear. These are irreplaceable gifts. You are irreplaceable because to someone you are a friend, you are familiar, you are an ear. Emergencies bring panic, fear, tension, and tears. Our Creator didn’t create us to live in a state of daily crisis, this is why He gave us community. Who do you need to reach out to today; maybe just to listen to, maybe just to be a familiar face? Let’s vow to stop this state of living in emergency and be a friend to everyone.